Ourselves in action.

Who am I? To answer this, we must first learn to become more aware of ourselves. To be aware, we must STOP and PAY ATTENTION! We need to STOP and objectively watch and experience ourselves in action.

We live most of our lives by habit. These habits keep us stuck in patterns that limit our experience of life. Once we detect a pattern we were previously unconscious of, we can choose differently, if we want. With awareness comes choice and with choice, we gain freedom.

Start building the awareness habit: STOP and PAY ATTENTION. Set an intention to become aware of how you automatically react to different things in your life.

For example, how do you typically react to the alarm clock, traffic, work colleagues and situations, your partner or children? How do you react to anger or fear in someone else? How do you react to your own anger or fear? Become a witness to your own life. Pay attention to how you do things.

Become aware of how your thinking creates your reality. Probe the messages underlying your emotions. Learn to honour your body’s wisdom. Awareness reveals to us a whole new fascinating world.
#zairakhan

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Acceptance

In order to feel less aroused by stress, you must accept that problems are a part of life. Doing so allows you to let go of the notion that something must be wrong if you’re feeling unhappy. Acceptance is knowing that feelings are cyclical, and sometimes the only way through is to ride out the uncomfortable emotions.
In fact, if you impulsively avoid discomfort, you paradoxically prolong your mental distress.
#zairakhan

Meaningful connection

We all want to be liked – we all want to be loved! – and none of us want to feel the crushing blow that is rejection, so the temptation is to change yourself in order to fit in, be accepted is strong.
However, changing yourself to fit in can be precisely the thing that keeps you lonely.
Why? Well, no one gets the chance to meet the real you, they’ll get a watered down version – the version of you that you think they want to see.
They’ll never get to discover the unique individual that you are, and therefore won’t be able to make a meaningful connection with you.

And no meaningful connection means loneliness.
zairakhan

Life is a true lesson for self and others.

Life is not always as good as you want it to be. We all have different opinions about life and the lessons we have learned. Sometimes we are constantly conscious of what we are gaining from each new day and sometimes we are totally unaware. For me insight into certain aspects of life is important. Our relationship with our life cannot be always cultivating positive effects on us. But even then we have to take hold of the best ways to make life easier and better. The thing with wisdom, and often with life lessons in general, is that they’re learned in retrospect, long after we needed them. The good news is that other people can benefit from our experiences and the lessons we’ve learned. In my case I am sure about it, honestly.

On beginning our adult journey we feel as though we have to do everything at once. We need to decide everything, plan out our lives, experience everything, get to the top, find true love, figure out what is our purpose of life and we want to do everything at the same time.

Slow down it’s the lesson for me and you —don’t rush into things. Let your life unfold. Wait a bit to see where it takes you, and take time to weigh your options. Enjoy every bite of food, take time to look around you.Allow yourself time to think, to mull a bit. Taking action is critical. Working towards your goals and making plans for the future is commendable and often very useful, but rushing full-speed ahead towards anything is a one-way ticket to burnout and a good way to miss your life as it passes you by.

In this way you will catch the idea that other people cannot give you the validation you seek. That has to come from inside,it took lots of time in my case to understand this crazy stuff. Speak up, stick to your guns, assert yourself when you need to, demand respect, stay true to your values. Then for sure you will be able to get a lot of confidence for yourself. This is how I kept on learning and also kept moving.

We have all of these expectations; predetermined visions of what our “ideal” life will look like, but all too often, that’s not the reality of the life we end up with. Sometimes our dreams fail and sometimes we just change our minds mid-course. Sometimes we have to fail to find the right course and sometimes we just have to try a few things before we find the right direction.

Pretending to be perfect doesn’t make you perfect. It just makes you neurotic to keep up the pretense of manufactured perfection. We have this idea that there is some kind of stigma or shame in admitting our limitations or uncertainly, but we can’t possibly know everything. We all make mistakes and mess up occasionally. We learn as we go, that’s life. Besides—nobody likes a know-it-all. A little vulnerability makes you human. I believe nothing in your life is not guaranteed to be there tomorrow, including those you love.

The life lesson that is vital to be learned, honestly is,”Life can change in an instant. Make sure you appreciate what you have, while you still have it”. Which is the real deep and hard lesson finally I think I have learned in my life.

Zairakhan

Past events are usually interfering with our current functionings.

Past events are usually interfering with our current functionings.

If we are focusing too much or too little on the past, this suggests it may be worth addressing these events in counseling…or psychotherapy. Too much focus involves ruminating—repeatedly going over negative thoughts about the event or about yourself and others in relation to the event. Too little focus involves us going to great lengths to avoid thinking about or talking about the past events. As we may have discovered, trying not to think about something is typically a losing battle. This makes us more likely to be preoccupied with it. If we find ourselves engaging in this ‘avoidance’ behavior regarding our past, this suggest we could benefit from addressing our past in counseling and psychological care.I believe past events are usually interfering with our current functionings.
Having received support from people close to you after the sad event occurred makes it more likely you will have recovered whereas not having received this support makes it more likely the event is continuing to affect you. In addition, if you’ve already spent time in taking steps to heal from the event, you are less likely to need to do more of this going forward. On the other hand, if you haven’t done work on your past events to heal from the effects of the event, this suggests that you could benefit from outlet at this point. As outlet brings pain back but help us to neutralize our emotions related to the events.Anxiety, sadness, anger and guilt are some of the common emotions people experience in the present because of negative events in their past. But you ned to have self respect and control so as to absorb some stuff and replace the pain with your passions and most of all your ability to cope.
Processing the past events by discussing the events and their emotional impact will make it less likely that you will continue to have these negative emotional reactions in the present. Doing this work will also make it less likely you will experience strong emotional reactions from being ‘triggered’ by stimuli, settings or people which remind you of the event. Lessen the occurrence of negative thoughts about yourself, others and the future. Negative events often have a lasting negative impact on the thoughts of the person who has experienced the events. This can include negative thoughts about yourself, other people, and the future. Having any of these thoughts on a regular basis can reduce your quality of life in the present. Processing the negative events helps you restructure your thinking about the events along with the view you have of yourself and others in relation to the events. Having a more accurate and balanced view of the events can lead to a significant improvement in your present emotional well-being and good health both mental and physical.

Zairakhan

Self compassion

To understand what it means to be self-compassionate, think about what it means to treat another person compassionately, and then turn that same orientation toward oneself. Just as compassion involves a desire to minimize the suffering of others, self-compassion reflects a desire to minimize one’s own suffering and, just as importantly, to avoid creating unnecessary unhappiness and distress for oneself. Self-compassionate people treat themselves in much the same caring, kind and supportive ways that compassionate people treat their friends and family when they are struggling. When they confront life’s problems, self-compassionate people respond with warmth and concern rather than judgment and self-criticism. Whether their problems are the result of their own incompetence, stupidity or lack of self-control, or occur through no fault of their own, self-compassionate people recognize that difficulties are a normal part of life. As a result, they approach their problems with equanimity, neither downplaying the seriousness of their challenges nor being overwhelmed by negative thoughts and feelings.
zairakhan

Whole selves

Difficult people haven’t yet learned to take responsibility for their whole selves—mind, body, and spirit. Feeling disconnected and restless gives rise to their need to argue, judge, critique, and tweak everyone around them.
Their inability to handle themselves adds fuel to the fire, which perpetuates harshness.
Underneath their personality is a feeling of being separate and a desperate plea for help.
Zairakhan