Let go.. Move on.

If you want the 2nd half of your life to be better than the 1st half, then you gotta let the first half go.

Do you prefer to ruminate endlessly about the past and something that cannot be changed?

All your feelings are legitimate. It’s important to feel them fully, and then move on. Nursing your grievances indefinitely is a bad habit, because it hurts you more than it hurts any one else .

Things don’t disappear on their own. You need to make the commitment to “let it go.” If you don’t make this conscious choice up-front, you could end up self-sabotaging any effort to move on from this past hurt.

When you focus on the here and now, you have less time to think about the past. When the past memories creep into your consciousness (as they are bound to do from time to time), acknowledge them for a moment. And then bring yourself gently back into the present moment.

Remember, if we crowd our brains — and lives — with hurt feelings, there’s little room for anything positive. It’s a choice you’re making to continue to feel the hurt, rather than welcoming joy back into your life.

Let go of the pain. Do something different today and welcome happiness back into your life.When you accept the past in such a neutral way, you are detached from its drama and the emotional charge associated with it. Your internal position is that of a witness who knows what happened and recognizes the event for what it was.

We might dwell on past hurts to the point that it negatively affects our emotional health, preventing us from moving on and growing as we should.

Each event in life leaves the impact, now its on us that how we deal with it and move on. The choice is ours. Regardless of what happened before, the person bringing up the past is feeling something similar in now. Isn’t it?

Not shy away … not to pass the crossed roads. For many individuals, the past is not past but remains an ever-present influence in their present life and in concealed ways make them feel horrible. I deal with them daily as a practicIng psychologist.

If past events are processed as experiences to learn from and grow as a person, pain and upset can be transformed into greater wisdom and strength. However, if not resolved, past challenges keep us hooked into the emotional charge of the time.

The only way to resolve painful feelings is to feel and acknowledge them, understand their context and accept them as a wound that may leave scars but does not need to hold you in its grip.

We all need supporting people with us. Many people deal well with talking therapies, some in same type groups.. by connecting with others who have overcome similar experiences. Be quite clear about the distinction between condoning and accepting.

When you condone something, you give it your seal of approval. An attitude of acceptance does not include judging past events as okay or insignificant. It simply acknowledges what happened in a matter-of-fact way without being pulled into one of the counter-productive emotions ..

Most likely you will never forget the experience but emotionally you have made peace with it and are no longer held in its power.
Zairakhan

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Agree to disagree

To disagree well we must first understand well. We have to educate ourselves deeply, listen to others very carefully and observe closely. We need to grant adversary moral respect to others.. give others the intellectual benefit of doubt; must have sympathy for others motives and participate empathically with others line of reasoning. And we need to allow for the possibility that we might yet be persuaded of what any one has to say.
“Here’s a simple truth that I think we all need to face up to: the people we meet at the wrong time are actually just the wrong people.’ ☺
Just to disagree..

Zairakhan

Tribute to martyrs.. Victims of terrorism.

Tribute to martyrs of Army Public School. Pakistan.

How to start, where to start,with heart full of melancholy, pen slipping from the shaking hand.What a barbaric fight I am fighting with the thoughts of dismay and love for land.
You all made history and I wonder what to do for keeping your sacrifices alive.
Yeah a TRIBUTE to soothe the agony but how to empathize.
Each grain of sand, every stone on the ground, each board and chart on the wall each desk each bench,dice
and bullet who saw you falling stayed afar. Cried soundlessly but to no apart. You fall down and risen up, united with the loved ones there with the pride. Our hearts wrenched and guards of our eyes folds.You are martyrs who never die.
Zairakhan

Double-whammy distress

I guess the words will do full justice to the thoughts and thoughts to the feelings.
Feeling guilty may be, not recognizing your guilt –and living a life chronically disrupted by it— is far worse in myriad ways. What people don’t typically know about guilt is that it’s a double-whammy distress: You feel culpable for a wrong that is not known to people who should be apprised of it, yet when you contemplate an airing of your misdeeds a feeling of shame kicks in and blocks you from doing so.The psychic defenses move in to deny, repress, and ultimately suppress awareness of it. This of course, does nothing to resolve it, which is why I describe guilt as radioactive waste of the psyche: You can bury it, but it is guaranteed to leach through the barrier you put between it and your cognitive control panel, to ultimately mess-up your life in a variety of ways.alas… Hypocrisy. Sigh!
Zairakhan

Pale in comparison

Unfortunately, societies are raising whole generations of children who are addicted to screens. That’s because electronics are designed to produce little “dopamine” rewards in our brains as we interact with them. That’s so enjoyable that other experiences pale in comparison.
But children need all kinds of other experiences, from building with blocks (motor skills, perceptual abilities) to engaging with other kids (learning how to get along and partner with others) to creative pursuits (becoming a doer, not a passive observer). Children also need to be physically active. Their bodies are designed to move, and if they don’t, they have a harder time sustaining attention and staying in a good mood. That’s why it’s essential to limit screen time.

What keeps children spark alive is a sense of connection. The sense that we see them, and understand who they are and what they love. Our caring and attention is the fuel children depend on for their next idea of what to do, or who would be fun to play or learn with. When our children don’t feel connected, even the coolest, newest toy or adventure loses its luster. You must provide warmth and connection with your kids to help them with beating the feeding of boredom.

The generation of 80s and new generation of today are totally different.. We were safe outside homes so played with our age groups. Our parents were alot into books so we developed habits of book reading
Now as you say all books are a cell away. Children will follow you.

Times, values and people have changed.

You could use a good emotional scrub to help you bring needed attention to your bored child.

There’s not much to fix. Your presence, your warmth and your willingness to be close and attentive are all that’s needed. The less bustling you do to deliver your presence, the better. The main thing that might need a slight fix is your immediate plan for your next half hour or so. ☺

Zairakhan

Ourselves in action.

Who am I? To answer this, we must first learn to become more aware of ourselves. To be aware, we must STOP and PAY ATTENTION! We need to STOP and objectively watch and experience ourselves in action.

We live most of our lives by habit. These habits keep us stuck in patterns that limit our experience of life. Once we detect a pattern we were previously unconscious of, we can choose differently, if we want. With awareness comes choice and with choice, we gain freedom.

Start building the awareness habit: STOP and PAY ATTENTION. Set an intention to become aware of how you automatically react to different things in your life.

For example, how do you typically react to the alarm clock, traffic, work colleagues and situations, your partner or children? How do you react to anger or fear in someone else? How do you react to your own anger or fear? Become a witness to your own life. Pay attention to how you do things.

Become aware of how your thinking creates your reality. Probe the messages underlying your emotions. Learn to honour your body’s wisdom. Awareness reveals to us a whole new fascinating world.
#zairakhan

Acceptance

In order to feel less aroused by stress, you must accept that problems are a part of life. Doing so allows you to let go of the notion that something must be wrong if you’re feeling unhappy. Acceptance is knowing that feelings are cyclical, and sometimes the only way through is to ride out the uncomfortable emotions.
In fact, if you impulsively avoid discomfort, you paradoxically prolong your mental distress.
#zairakhan