You are smart if you are conscious.

A high IQ can even lead you deeper into an unconscious life, because very smart people generally believe they are right, so they strongly prefer their version of reality. This reduces the motivation to be open to new and unknown possibilities. It cements fixed habits and beliefs in place. Awareness brings freedom from fixed beliefs and habits. Awareness allows people to think about who they are and what they are like, and to evaluate themselves, and it even allows them to change their own behavior if they don’t like something about themselves.As long as you maintain this level of self-understanding and self-compassion, you will be ready to work constructively to improve your life!
Their are some very concealed thoughts patterns and personality traits which are totally not in our awareness, but are in our unconscious or previous conscious minds.. For that we have to work on our awareness as those actually we know about are somewhere in our mind but we repress or suppress and keep on living with cognitive baisness ..
While we might all like to believe that we are rational and logical, the sad fact is that we are constantly under the influence of cognitive biases that distort our thinking, influence our beliefs, and sway the decisions and judgments we make each and every day.
Sometimes these biases are fairly obvious, and you might even find that you recognize these predispositions. Others are so subtle that they are almost impossible to notice.
Since our attention is a limited resource and we can’t possibly evaluate every possible detail and event in forming our thoughts and opinions, there is ample room for these biases to enter our thought process and affect our decisions.
The tendency for an individual to rely too heavily on one’s own perspective and/or have a higher opinion of one’s self than reality merits. For example Egocentric Bias comes as a result of the reality that every individual has a vast amount of information they know about themselves that others are not privy to. Because there is such a huge amount of information about the self each individual has, this can lead to an a disproportionate weight and influence given to the self’s views, knowledge, and opinion on various kinds of topics/judgement/experiences.You are smart if you are conscious. You have to develop self awareness and understanding of others… It’s not a day’s endeavor but at least we are capable of the mastery… Otherwise lots of life experiences change our approach towards self and others and we must be honest to accept that.

Zairakhan

Train your mind to think about what you want in life ..

The greatest feeling is that you feel that you are in relative peace. To acknowledge this feeling a person needs awareness and understanding of his own self. But if the negative thoughts are trapping you then for sure you are with the real approach towards life and becoming anxious, which cannot be avoided . And someway you are capable of dealing with it in now for future. You know it is the fear of that which probably will never happen or possibly happen. Thats the eternal truth that nothing lasts for ever, and this one reality keeps us motivated to tangle up on things that we think can gurantee little bit of ever or feeling of lasting . The truth is no, nothing is forever but the feeling in now and retrospect of that feeling makes the difference. We are happy because of our approach now onwards. Enjoy the moment, be grateful of the sources for these feelings.. And don’t let your self sway away with the other negative things in your mind that are also existing but are sure with doubt.

All negative thoughts are not bad. Being alert can help you survive but most negative thoughts are useless. They only create imaginary drama in your mind.

Train your mind to think about what you want in life, and avoid thinking about what you don’t want. Negative thinking drains your energy and is counterproductive; that is why fear is so destructive and why despair and hopelessness must be avoided. They work in the opposite way that Mind Power does.

So how do we eliminate this negative thinking? The first step is to recognize the importance of eliminating negative thoughts, and the second step is to be aware when negatives are happening to us.

You can’t avoid negative thinking entirely. Sometimes negative thoughts just pop into our mind. When this happens, we must be aware, so that we immediately recognize when we are thinking negatively. A thought has no power other than what you give it. Negative thoughts gain momentum when you think them over and over again. So stop thinking them.

The key is to catch the negatives before they have time to become entrenched. With practice you will notice right away when you are thinking negatives, and you then can take the appropriate actions. The mind is a creature of habit, so encourage positive thoughts and eliminate negative ones.

It’s important to recognize and accept, not deny and suppress, whatever difficult emotion or depressed state we’re encountering. It’s an acquired habit to welcome negativity and understand that it is an expression of an unmet need, but self-acceptance is the first step toward meeting that unmet need or grieving that loss you never allowed yourself to grieve.

Always try to be very clear about your self in different situations and instead of denying that who you are accept it and see what happens? Your happiness with self will change the world inside your head.

Zairakhan

Decent ways.

Treat others the way you expect to be treated.
It seems that rudeness has reached epidemic proportions ” from celebrity meltdowns to excessive cell phone use to obnoxious drivers. Rude people don’t always dial in to the impact their behavior has on others. Whether you’re dealing with an aggressive coworker or family member, or you’re the one with a rude attitude..
Develop Empathy for Others.
Do you say what’s on your mind regardless of whether you hurt someone else’s feelings? It is your way or the highway? Instead of chewing a waiter’s head off for mixing up your order, or constantly interrupting your relatives to get your point across, try to see things from the other person’s point of view.
Engage People in a Way that Protects Their Self-Esteem.
Do you laugh your friends’ expense? Do you always have a sarcastic comment about everything?
If you’re making a joke, and you’re the only one laughing, that’s a clue, a lot of humor has a sharp edge to it. If it’s always somebody else bleeding, it may be that you’re hurting other people’s feelings.
Find a Better Way to Be Assertive than Bullying
There’s a difference between being assertive and being aggressive. Assertive people stand up for their rights, while aggressive people often step on the rights of others.
If you’ve got somebody being rude to you. You’ve got to really make a decision to just not react,you don’t have to be confrontational, but you do need to stand up for yourself.
Confront the person one on one. If the offender is someone you know, make eye contact and call this person by his or her name. If you’re dealing with someone who chronically interrupts you, disengage from the conversation.
Practice Having Empathy, Warmth and Genuineness
I always treat everybody I can with dignity and respect. I might tell them the truth they don’t want to hear, but I’m not going to treat them in a way that’s not with dignity and respect, because I just feel like we’re all in this together, this human experience called life..Treat others the way you expect to be treated.
Zairakhan

Let go.. Move on.

If you want the 2nd half of your life to be better than the 1st half, then you gotta let the first half go.

Do you prefer to ruminate endlessly about the past and something that cannot be changed?

All your feelings are legitimate. It’s important to feel them fully, and then move on. Nursing your grievances indefinitely is a bad habit, because it hurts you more than it hurts any one else .

Things don’t disappear on their own. You need to make the commitment to “let it go.” If you don’t make this conscious choice up-front, you could end up self-sabotaging any effort to move on from this past hurt.

When you focus on the here and now, you have less time to think about the past. When the past memories creep into your consciousness (as they are bound to do from time to time), acknowledge them for a moment. And then bring yourself gently back into the present moment.

Remember, if we crowd our brains — and lives — with hurt feelings, there’s little room for anything positive. It’s a choice you’re making to continue to feel the hurt, rather than welcoming joy back into your life.

Let go of the pain. Do something different today and welcome happiness back into your life.When you accept the past in such a neutral way, you are detached from its drama and the emotional charge associated with it. Your internal position is that of a witness who knows what happened and recognizes the event for what it was.

We might dwell on past hurts to the point that it negatively affects our emotional health, preventing us from moving on and growing as we should.

Each event in life leaves the impact, now its on us that how we deal with it and move on. The choice is ours. Regardless of what happened before, the person bringing up the past is feeling something similar in now. Isn’t it?

Not shy away … not to pass the crossed roads. For many individuals, the past is not past but remains an ever-present influence in their present life and in concealed ways make them feel horrible. I deal with them daily as a practicIng psychologist.

If past events are processed as experiences to learn from and grow as a person, pain and upset can be transformed into greater wisdom and strength. However, if not resolved, past challenges keep us hooked into the emotional charge of the time.

The only way to resolve painful feelings is to feel and acknowledge them, understand their context and accept them as a wound that may leave scars but does not need to hold you in its grip.

We all need supporting people with us. Many people deal well with talking therapies, some in same type groups.. by connecting with others who have overcome similar experiences. Be quite clear about the distinction between condoning and accepting.

When you condone something, you give it your seal of approval. An attitude of acceptance does not include judging past events as okay or insignificant. It simply acknowledges what happened in a matter-of-fact way without being pulled into one of the counter-productive emotions ..

Most likely you will never forget the experience but emotionally you have made peace with it and are no longer held in its power.
Zairakhan

Agree to disagree

To disagree well we must first understand well. We have to educate ourselves deeply, listen to others very carefully and observe closely. We need to grant adversary moral respect to others.. give others the intellectual benefit of doubt; must have sympathy for others motives and participate empathically with others line of reasoning. And we need to allow for the possibility that we might yet be persuaded of what any one has to say.
“Here’s a simple truth that I think we all need to face up to: the people we meet at the wrong time are actually just the wrong people.’ ☺
Just to disagree..

Zairakhan

Tribute to martyrs.. Victims of terrorism.

Tribute to martyrs of Army Public School. Pakistan.

How to start, where to start,with heart full of melancholy, pen slipping from the shaking hand.What a barbaric fight I am fighting with the thoughts of dismay and love for land.
You all made history and I wonder what to do for keeping your sacrifices alive.
Yeah a TRIBUTE to soothe the agony but how to empathize.
Each grain of sand, every stone on the ground, each board and chart on the wall each desk each bench,dice
and bullet who saw you falling stayed afar. Cried soundlessly but to no apart. You fall down and risen up, united with the loved ones there with the pride. Our hearts wrenched and guards of our eyes folds.You are martyrs who never die.
Zairakhan

Double-whammy distress

I guess the words will do full justice to the thoughts and thoughts to the feelings.
Feeling guilty may be, not recognizing your guilt –and living a life chronically disrupted by it— is far worse in myriad ways. What people don’t typically know about guilt is that it’s a double-whammy distress: You feel culpable for a wrong that is not known to people who should be apprised of it, yet when you contemplate an airing of your misdeeds a feeling of shame kicks in and blocks you from doing so.The psychic defenses move in to deny, repress, and ultimately suppress awareness of it. This of course, does nothing to resolve it, which is why I describe guilt as radioactive waste of the psyche: You can bury it, but it is guaranteed to leach through the barrier you put between it and your cognitive control panel, to ultimately mess-up your life in a variety of ways.alas… Hypocrisy. Sigh!
Zairakhan