First of all you have to understand that what actually is the underlying issue of your personality, which is compelling you to be so possessive for the ones you love.Only the insight into self helps us to better ourselves. If no knowledge, no awareness and no insight the problems effecting us and our loved ones cannot be solved.
Don’t you think that life already is very complicated, you must have been struggling a lot to do with life right there with you from the depths of the many reasons to love being loved.
Ofcourse you must be, but if you are becoming possessive in relationships then for sure there are some fears and insecurities in your life.
In retrospection find out what makes you afraid and also insecure with what if? Questions. No one has to hide from self. Self knows you. So bother your self to speak out the turbulence creating thoughts.
Once you will be amazed to figure out the hidden aspects of fears and insecurities then for sure you will be able to address them on your own. You know I know everything in this life is just moving a head. Nothing just stops happening. Life goes on and in the same way each moment of life is new and moving. With this realization we all develop empathy and compassion. How does it feel when someone is not letting you to speak to your best friend and you feel awkward to eliminate your best buddy just because someone in relation with you demands so? If you won’t mind then for sure you are not adjusting well with relationships in life. Here are no blames, but are the awareness developing feelings.
After being aware and empathy learner I would suggest you that while it can feel really scary to make yourself vulnerable, it might be a good idea to talk to your partner about what you are feeling. In a relationship, discussing hopes and dreams, as well as fears and insecurities , can be very effective in building intimacy and fostering a strong bond. Imagine how you might feel if you learned your partner was struggling with some fears and insecurities of his/her own. Imagine how you might feel if your partner expressed how much you were loved and valued and compassionately alleviated your fears. It is possible that opening up a conversation about how you are feeling in the relationship might just produce these responses and increase the connectedness between you and your loved one.
Last of all in addition to mastering relational skills, therapy can also offer a safe space for you to take a look at yourself and the health of your relationship. Sometimes when people are feeling possessive in their relationships, it can be an indicator that they lack the confidence and self esteem to believe that they are worthy of the relationship that they are in. If this is the case, therapy can be valuable in helping you learn to truly love and accept yourself and to know that you don’t have to be with fears guilts rather you could also be loved . Sometimes overprotective and possessive feelings in a relationship can be indicators that the relationship is not a healthy one—maybe your partner has given you real reasons to not believe he/she is trustworthy . As an objective third party, whose sole responsibility is to you and your well-being, a therapist can also offer insight into the health of a relationship.
You can always control your emotions if you want to.Deep down hidden in the soul of the demanding and possessive person dwells a needy little child, longing for love and appreciation. Under the surface lies deep seated insecurity and fear of loss, especially of relationships. They have difficulty with experiencing self-love and self-acceptance, and the behavior they show is a great example of compensation. So awareness is actually the best solution to change the way you think and feel bad.