Life ..We too will die 

What is life? What is its purpose? A number of us have been forced by the death of the loved one to investigate these questions. Death forces us to look deeper into the nature and purpose of life. Reexamine our life values and goals: Contact with death awakens us to the fact that someday we too will die. This generates a number of questions. Will we have fulfilled our life purpose? Why have we come here to the earth? Why have we taken this physical body? Is our life part of some greater process? If so, what does it require of us? How can we live our lives more in harmony with that purpose?

Answering these questions might motivate us to change our life style, live a more meaningful existence, improve our character, purify our love, or investigate the deeper truths of life. We may also discover that life is more meaningful when we value others and their needs.



Why barriers ?

I believe in therapeutic parenting not in ordinary parenting. Well as a psychologist I still want to tell parents that you are always responsible for the security of your children. Don’t let your minor child to be vulnerable for predators, inside house or outside.

1 in 10 children r abused before the age of 18.The perpetrator may abuse a child in order to gain power over the child. A perpetrator will often also threaten or manipulate the child to prevent him or her from disclosing the abuse.

 If I have to say who is the person, I will say anyone. There is no mark or visible signs written on someone’s face that he or she is a rapist or an abuser of small children.

 Child molesters look for children who are vulnerable to their tactics because they lack emotional support or aren’t getting enough attention at home or will try to convince the parents their children r safe with them&that they are not going far.

 Don’t leave your child alone with adults you don’t know well. Even relatives can pose a threat. The key is to be as present as possible. Ensure your children understands that if someone has asked them to keep a secret from you that it isn’t because the child will get into trouble but the person who has asked them to keep the secret knows what they are doing to them is wrong.

 Children often feel GUILTY and inadequate as they are unable to meet the emotional needs of an adult. The child’s relational limitations may result in the parent expressing  Psychopaths are notorious for a lack of fear.Some psychopaths don’t see “personal gain” the way others do – they just get a sick thrill out of taking advantage of someone. Others will use kindness and benevolence to get something, anything – money, power, fame, whatever – to temporarily satisfy an even more transient want. Good boundaries support our safety, what we desire and hold important. Effective boundaries happen as we say “Yes” and “No” authentically and act in accordance with each declaration.


​The fundamental reasons we continue to love people we don’t trust…

​The fundamental reasons we continue to love people we don’t trust…

You can still  love somebody you don’t trust as you have your own approach in life,BUT it will probably make you examine  even trustworthy actions as suspect.(if you are not with some other kind of psychological problems that are based on emotional problems). I think this makes it difficult for  both people in a relationship –one suspicious sad/angry person and one  who feels wrongly accused.

 Everyone makes mistakes (that is the easy part!)  the harder part is  telling the truth and dealing with it, but when people do this,they get exhausted and take their hands off normally and usually…But even if they continue the relationship then..this is deep shallowness in their own personality. For me its emotional SI..means emotional self injury.The wounds are sometimes very deep.Self esteem totally shatters..and cos you cant take yourself out of that kind of self harm mental situation, you carry on..and falsely tell yourself as a belief that you love the person..but deeply inside you don’ just dont want to loose the one you got somehow,thats the only thing that makes you anxious and insecure…

Trust is the foundation of a relationship. The same as faith, hope and  belief. Without these, what type of a relationship does one have? They  can have faith, hope and believe things will get better by gaining the  trust they once had. Trust may take a long time to build but is not  impossible, depending on what caused the mistrust. However, if the  reliance isn’t earned, the one not able to trust is left with a mind in a  cage of doubt and the one not being trusted finds oneself constantly on  guard. The longer in the relationship of trust-less issues, the more  the poison spreads. 

Why would  anyone in his/her logical mind want to have a relationship with someone  he/she does not trust? That premise is totally illogical for rational beings.  The basis of  a respectful and loving relationship is trust. When a relationship is  based upon trust, there is a comfort within that relationship.  There is  a freedom for people to be their unique selves and their most  vulnerable selves. the person knows all that but fixes self into denial,unconsciously he is too logic tight that his illogical thinking seems correct to he wont listen and follow any other neutral person..If there is no awareness regarding your mind and its states,how anyone can protect self… 

When a relationship is based and  built upon trust, each person has each other’s back.  If a relationship  is not based upon trust, the relationship is and will become problematic  in more ways than one.  If one cannot trust a person in a relationship,  what GOOD is the relationship.  If one elects to remain in such a toxic  relationship, sooner or later he/she will be proverbially stabbed in  the back and he knows that but..he actually waits for that to happen..  In other words, the more trusting partner will be left  holding the bag so to speak.

So,to sum up I would say,”Trust forms the very core of a strong relationship. Without trust, it’s  questionable how far a relationship would go. I really don’t think it’s  worth it unless trust is reestablished. Sometimes the heart wants to  believe and wants to make it work, even when you have that underlying  feeling that it’s probably not worth it. The best someone can hope for  is to give the relationship a couple of chances and if still there is no  trust forming, then probably let it go for good.” If there is no trust, a relationship will not thrive. So actually we cant love fully the person we don’t trust..this is our misunderstanding if we think that we still love the untrusted people as before,mistrusting occurred.

zaira khan


Like a shadow 

Depression is like the shadow that haunts us all secretly at some or the other period of time in our lives. It can become much like a vicious cycle if not attended to. There are a few things you could try 

Get yourself a change of place. Shift to a new room/home with more ventilation or a terrace or open balcony. Open air spaces are known to act like ventilator for the mind as much as the body by providing fresh air to breathe. The air we breathe is so important  yet so neglected. It’s really really important  to breathe fresh air. It’s cleansing for the body, as much as the mind.

Get yourself a small plant inside your room. Try placing it near your window. Tend to it every day and take care of by watering regularly. Green plants inside the home are known to be reflectors of positive energy.

Brighten your room. I won’t ask you to paint it afresh but bring in brighter bulbs into your room, an extra lamp would do great, too. Make sure you get ample sunlight inside your room during the day. Bright light would surely lessen the darkening thoughts in your head, too.

The best of all, get yourself a pet(if you can’t afford or manage an expensive pet , get fishes in a large bowl with lots of water for the fishes to swim around). Pets are said to elevate moods and #psychologists have found that homes with pets have lesser cases of depression-suffering members. If you can’t afford either, spend time or give food to the stray ones outside your home. Befriend them. That oughtta do the trick, too!

Snack on fruits. We often neglect the controllable factors to our health(physique and psyche). Fresh foods have high amounts of anti oxidants and fibre. They help in release of happy-hormones endorphins in your body giving you a full-feeling without a hint of sickness!

You could start working out/yoga. The world is celebrating the greatness of Yoga which benefits every single thought to every last cell in your being. I’ve personally benefitted a lot from yoga and that’s why I endorse it so much.

I won’t suggest you to push yourself too hard for anything but just remember this, medication and doctor…all on one side… You are the one and only bridge between them and a better and happier you! Take care.



How much life is too much?


Still want to crawl under a rock

 I still remember that when I was making myself a practicing psychologist, I was taking up or lets say was ready to take up many challenges to become well known in my profession,as there were tough competitions..Which I am now…. Some years back I had a seminar to present and that was for the psychology students,who were doing masters in clinical psychology and that was a great breakthrough as I was getting chance to address in one of the best institutes of Clinical Psychology. I was fully prepared with my laptop and presentation on endogenous and exogenous factors of migraine in female patients. As I entered the hall took up the dice and mic, started giving brief bio-data of my professional background and major interests of studies. And all of a sudden a young man of armed forces who was studying clinical psychology stood up and asked ARE YOU MARRIED? I without looking at him said I ABSOLUTELY DON’T KNOW?

I still remember I was so embarrassed with my answer that I had to take some deep breaths to focus on the work I was bound to do. but the students clapped for like five minutes. I don’t know why? But I wasn’t married and I could have said so with simple word NO.

Believe me in recalling this first seminar which was appreciated a lot I feel great success but I truly still want to crawl under a rock,that my answer to that invalid and unexpected question was totally

Well to sum up I want to share this wonderful quotation.



No end to this cruelty

Today the world is facing great threats of terrorism. Thousands of innocent people have been killed and still there seems to be no end to this cruelty. Some blame Islam as a religion of grave terror and bloodshed. But, in reality, there is no connection between Islam and terrorism at all; Islam is as closely related to terrorism as light is to darkness or life is to death or peace is to war. Islam very strongly condemns terrorism and encourages establishing peace and order in the land.
However, one cannot deny that on many occasions some Muslims are found involved in terrorist activities either individually, on behalf of a group or on behalf of a country with a predominately Muslim population.
But let it be very clear that we do not justify terrorism of any kind whatsoever, whatever the colour, religion, sentiment or objective the terrorist may claim to represent. Islam does not approve of disorder in any form. Islam does far from teach terrorism. It teaches rule of law, obedience to the authorities and does not let anyone take the law into his own hands. The Holy Quran states:
“O ye who believe! Obey Allah, and obey His Messenger and those who are in authority over you.’ (Ch.4: V.60)
The Holy Quran states that “those who create disorder in the earth, they are the real losers”; “and commit not iniquity in the earth, creating disorder”; “and Allah loves not disorder”. Such words and phrases are found in the Holy Quran repeatedly.
After this clear teaching such terrorist actions of some Muslim individuals or groups have no cover or justification at all, and they must be condemned widely. And those who are involved must be brought in front of justice.
As far as Islam is concerned, it categorically rejects and condemns every form of terrorism. It does not provide any cover or justification for any act of violence, be it committed by an individual, a group or a government.
The Muslim Community, which is a peace loving and law abiding community, strongly condemns all acts of terrorism anywhere in the world.We join in spreading a message of peace, love, harmony, tolerance and brotherhood.
We reject and condemn all acts and forms of violence and terrorism unreservedly and totally, because it is our deeply rooted belief that not only Islam but also no true religion, whatever its name, can sanction violence and the bloodshed of innocent men, women and children in the name of God. God is love, God is peace!
Love can never beget hatred, and peace can never lead to war.