Exercise 

This exercise will be to spend one or two weeks observing everything you are doing, trying to do as little as possible that is purely self serving and do as much as possible in serving other people for the sake of serving. Although you may prefer to serve animals instead of humans, it is important to make this exercise a service to humans. Do things not because you will get credit, not because people will think what a wonderful person you are, but do things anonymously. If you serve at the soup kitchen for the homeless as an example, do not give out your full name, do not say anything about yourself so that no one can give you credit. Do not tell anyone, friends, family, what you have done so that you cannot attain any credit whatsoever for your acts. You will observe how much your ego wants to do good things only if you can get credit for them, which would be self serving. This is  the EXERCISE of attaining liberation through being of selfless service to others. Giving to gain credit or acknowledgment is not pure, true giving and will not bring the highest benefits.

Zaira Khan

ALL THE BEST

​Attraction vs. Avoidance

Some people are motivated more by doing things, whilst others are motivated more by avoiding things.

People who are driven towards doing things tend to have positive goals and seek to achieve specific things. They are forward-looking and see the world as being full of opportunity. They generally have a passion and desire to succeed in order to gain either specific rewards or general recognition.

They focus is largely on the future and when they have achieved something they may even forget about it in the headlong charge into further challenges.

Some people have problems with this in that they are attracted to too many things. They dart from one opportunity to another, seeking gratification all over the place. They may be looking for something and they may not yet know what they want.

Those who are driven to avoid things something look like they are attracted to the things they are actually doing, but they are actually looking more over their shoulder than in front of them. For example people who are very energetic at work may be driven more by a worry about failure or criticism than by an attraction towards achievement.

Those who are avoidance-driven focus more by their fears than their desires (which may well be fears in disguise).

Avoidance can be a high-stress preference. We may be generally driven by attraction when things are going well, but when we are threatened or otherwise experience high levels of stress, we may use an avoidance strategy to get away from that discomfort.

A problem with avoidance when compared to attraction is that there are many directions in which to run away from something, yet only one way you can run towards something. Motivating a person by triggering avoidance is not necessarily a helpful approach.

For those who are driven by attraction, seek their passions and lay opportunity in their path. They will swoop towards what you are offering.

For those driven by avoidance, point out the problems of the past and the dangers of the present. Show them a future where they can at least avoid the worst of the problems they face.

Zaira  Khan

​Subconscious defenses.

Any psychologist will tell you that we are all quick to lie to ourselves. Having a consciousness (and a conscience) essentially means that you also come equipped with your own, personal, subconscious defenses. We all have a system of barricades, automatic responses, and various means of self-delusion – some of us have more of a capacity for it than others. Beneath this subterfuge, the reality of everything lies partially hidden from our witness. People who are genuinely bad people will be subconsciously aware of their nature, regardless of how they consciously view themselves. The guilt of repetitive bad actions, intentionally hurting people, negatively influencing lives, will have just as much influence on their section of the eternal energy in the astral realm. So, a good person who consciously sacrifices for the betterment of the world and those around them would also be influencing their portion of the astral. Our subconscious is the scale which weighs our sins, and the goodness of life, all of the positive energy which recycles through our universe and all good intention, is the judge…to a very little extent.

zairakhan
what you have to say??????????????

Psychological space.. 

For psychologists, distance is not just physical space. It is also psychological space, the degree to which you feel closely connected to someone else. You are describing psychological distance when you say that you feel “distant” from your spouse, “out of touch” with your kids’ lives, “worlds apart” from a neighbor’s politics, or “separated” from your employees. You don’t mean that you are physically distant from other people; you mean that you feel psychologically distant from them in some way. You’ve developed different beliefs than your spouse over time and have “grown apart,” your kids’ generation is so different from your own, or you work in a large corporation with more employees than you can name. These two features of social life—the magnitude of the gap between your own mind and others’ minds, and the motivation to reduce that gap—are critical for understanding when you engage your ability to think about other minds fully and when you do not.

Distance keeps your sixth sense disengaged for at least two reasons. First, your ability to understand the minds of others can be triggered by your physical senses. When you’re too far away in physical space, those triggers do not get pulled. Second, your ability to understand the minds of others is also engaged by your cognitive inferences. Too far away in psychological space—too different, too foreign, too other—and those triggers, again, do not get pulled. Understanding how these two triggers—your physical senses and your cognitive inferences—engage you with the mind of another person is essential for understanding the dehumanizing mistakes we can make when we remain disengaged.

Zaira Khan 

Keep trying 

Life isn’t always fair… life is a beautiful chance given to human  beings to make the best of it, to LEARN and to provide others the best  of us. What can be unfair is the attitude and actions of human beings, but we learn from that. If we get hurt by something or someone, there is  always a lesson to get from it: To be stronger, to realize of the good  and bad, to take care of ourselves. The power is always within you , you  have all the strength and the capability to face any difficulty you may  be experiencing, with braveness and positivity, looking forward! You  were born to be happy :), you have unique talents, values, to provide  happiness to others. Loosing hopes is not the solution to difficulties  (no matter how desperate the situation might seem); it is a “coward”  response and a very selfish one, as it could cause so much pain to the  people who love you. Be positive, look forward. Whether it’s  self-preservation, basic human decency, or a combination of both, we  want to change that.

In some cases, we can. We are not powerless, and we don’t have to simply accept every injustice as an unavoidable part of life.
We do, however, need to accept that our response to perceived wrongs affects our ability to right them.
No one has a perfect life. Everyone is battling some kind of hardship.
It’s  also downright disturbing when people who really do have good lives,  overlook all the positives they do have going for them because they are  so focused on what they haven’t got, or what others have, that they  don’t. 
You can’t create positive change from a negative  mindset.  You have to heal your pain before you can set out to heal the  world. And you have to stop seeing yourself as a victim if you want to  access your personal power.
Studies have shown that the reward  centers of our brains activate when we recognize fairness—even when it  pertains to someone else. When we witness unfairness, it triggers our  amygdala, the primitive part of the brain that controls fear and anger.
You  also have to come to terms with the reality that even if you do what  you’re supposed to/ need to do, it still doesn’t always follow that  you’re gonna get what you want. Life doesn’t always work that way…it’s  not a meritocracy. People let their disappointment in how things turn  out get the better of them, often, instead of accepting it as something  that just happens, sometimes, despite best intentions. Accepting failure  and disappointment healthily is one of the hardest lessons to learn. I  still struggle with it, and hopefully will get better and better about  it as life goes on. 
This means that when we feel like we’ve been  treated unfairly, we go into “fight or flight” mode, with its resulting  sense of anxiety.
Psychologists suggest that when we fight for  fairness for others, it’s actually self-interest in disguise; meaning  we’ve recognized it provides us with some type of advantage to be fair.
No  matter how you slice it, we experience a strong, instant physical and  biological reaction to perceived injustices, and this can limit our  ability to think rationally and respond proactively. 
A little bit of unjustice in this life and enduring it can only make you  stronger; there’s always an island of love, happiness and joy ahead  even if you’ve got to swim a whole ocean of bitterness and injustice in  order to get there!
 “Life will always be unfair”; and that’s how this life will be if all  you do is keep swimming in circles in the ocean of mainstream human  mentality; it’s up to you to seek in your life those ‘islands of  tranquility’ which fill your emotion with confidence and strength; and  those islands are often in the truthful companionship of good friends and loved ones.  Growing older will lead you there, just be careful and don’t give up!
Make a clean corner in your thoughts so that hope finds a place in your heart and let instead bitterness move out.
Once  we mature as individuals it’s up to us to make life better, for our own  and for the future generations as well! Don’t give up!

Zaira khan 

No fun

One of life’s biggest set-ups for being lonely is living with the erroneous belief that your way is the best way of doing things and insisting others agree with you. Some people seem to have taken a life course called, How To Be Absolutely Sure of Everything! It’s like their reality testing mechanism is stuck on “It so because I think it is so.” People who feel constantly threatened and angry when others question their actions substitute being right for living a happy life. Living daily always on the defense, being in charge of the rights and wrongs of the Universe, is no fun!

Zairakhan

Patience is a virtue …

Patience is a virtue that not everyone knows how to manage or cultivate.

Silence is another healthy capacity that goes hand in hand with patience—to know when to be quiet, able to listen to others, and in turn to find a place where you can communicate with yourself in the calm of your internal environment.

But staying silent doesn’t mean to sabotage yourself, nor does it mean to conceal your opinions out of fear of the consequences as I said in my previous comment . It means to be silent about things that aren’t worth complaining about, and to be quiet when your #emotions speak.

Both patience and silence are two key #virtues of #wise people, crucial in your personal development. 

Zairakhan