Consider your options, based on your knowledge of your outer and inner environment. Be aware that you can change both your external surroundings, and your own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, to help you to get what you want in life. Evaluate the various paths available to you, assess the probability that each path will get you to your goals. Then make a plan for how to proceed, and take the path that seems best suited to go where you want.
Finally, implement the decisions you made and travel along the path. Remember, you will usually encounter some unknown obstacles on your road to what you want. Be excited about getting feedback from your environment and learning about better paths forward. Take the opportunity to change your path if a new one opens up that seems better suited to help you meet your goals. Be open to changing your very goals themselves based on what you learn.
All of the people who underwent ‘transformation through suffering’ – – experienced a ‘moment of acceptance,’ when they gave up resisting their predicament. They ‘let go’, or surrendered to their state. In some cases, they felt they had no choice but to accept their state because they had nothing left to cling to or to hope for. This didn’t mean that they stopped trying to get better, or to rebuild their lives. It just meant that they faced up to the full reality of their state, and stopped trying to resist it in a rigid, adversarial way.
Some of the realizations..
1. Take time to make your forgiveness real and meaningful.
Did you every hear people say, “You have to forgive her!” or “Forgive him right now!”? Well, anyone can just say they forgive someone, but it takes time to actually move forward and truly forgive. Don’t let a person force you into forgiving someone before you’ve worked through your feelings, because it would lead to an empty forgiveness and not something that is true.
This is extremely important because it is so easy to get caught up in emotions when there is so much extra chatter or other influences. When you meditate, you are at one with your emotions in a quiet atmosphere. During meditation, I learn more about my needs and myself, and it constantly helps me grow as a person.
3. Write down your emotions and then release them.
Sometimes it’s hard to realize what upsets you. Is it because she said this? Or because her actions made you feel bad? Writing down your thoughts help you better understand your feelings. After I do this, I like to go outside and burn the paper. It feels therapeutic to watch something that hurt you disintegrate into little ashes.
4. Instead of focusing on how someone else hurt you, focus on how your actions affect others.
Whenever I deal with these issues, I am not an easy person to be around… I spent too much time focusing on someone and something that I could do nothing about instead of focusing on the good and peaceful relationships in my life. When I realized how I was treating my loved ones, it made me want to forgive the person who hurts me. I deserved that peace, and so did my friends and family.
5. Strive to live in the present.
This is the hardest thing to do. Especially now with the Internet and a fast-paced life, so many of us are multi-tasking, thinking of our next assignment before we finish with the one we are currently doing. By always thinking of tomorrow, we are losing today. The same goes for living in the past. If you let your past define you, you will never grow.
Through all the pain and the heartaches u go through years of your life, u can finally feel at peace….so… I think the best thing I ever did was forgive my rivals and so called enemies because it let me grow as a person and focus on all the wonderful people and things in my life..
Hypocrisy has given human beings a bad name. It has given ideology, ideas and philosophy horrible reputations. Sadly, more reasonable people retreat into the gray area of the non-committed. “Everyone who has a strong idea is a hypocrite. That must mean ideas are wrong. The reasonable thing is to stay in the middle.” No, that’s wrong. The safe thing is to stay in the middle. But survival requires more than safety. Man has need of ideas whether he retreats from them, or not. The caveman needed ideas on how to eat and stay warm; the modern man needs ideas on how to generate prosperity and preserve civilization rather than collapsing into famine, poverty and mindlessness.
Somewhere along the journey of our lives, people have learned that other people’s #opinion matters a great deal. And we are only safe if we are watching out for what they think. We are responsible for their thoughts and we are affected deeply by their thoughts about us. Then we carry a great burden of trying to live up to others expectations, fearful we are not doing that very thing, and eager to prove our worth to those closest to us. It’s no fun.
You can be honest with yourself because there is nothing to be ashamed or even embarrassed about. We do what we do because we have learned it, usually when we were young, at a time when all people are influenced by their surroundings and life experiences. It is a common thing to care too much about others’ thoughts of us, and given our past it often makes sense. So don’t be hard on yourself about it for a moment. Just acknowledge that it is there so you can move forward and feel better.
Understand, accept, change, will, can and move on your way..
Guilt says “I Did Something Bad.”
Guilt is a feeling that you did something wrong. Guilt comes to you from your conscience, which tells you that you are not living up to your values. Guilt says, “I did something bad. I was wrong. I must pay.” Guilt is about actions that have hurt yourself or others. It is situation specific and related to your misbehavior. Your guilt then sets about to punish you. The guilt serves as personal punishment for the undesirable behavior. Guilty feelings can be helpful in the sense that they help us to put on the brakes on behaviors we would regret later.
Sometimes you will hang on to guilt long after the situation has passed. Hang-on guilt remains because you do not know how to release it. Guilt for acts committed in childhood can cause a reservoir of negative emotions to be stored in the body resulting in curbing of healthy assertive behavior. This kind of guilt is sometimes at the bottom of co-dependency.
There is another type of unhealthy guilt where we feel that we are the cause of something not because of wrongdoing but because of underlying feelings of worthlessness. This pseudo-guilt inadvertently is passed down in families when a parent acted like a martyr (Why did I get such a child? You will be the death of me.) or used discipline techniques of shaming and blaming the child (You are stupid. Dummy!) The child, being vulnerable, absorbs the negative energy of the abuser and internalizes the negative labels as being true. (I am dumb because my father called me dumb when I knocked the glass of milk over.)
We can’t stop yearning and desiring more in life. It’s our once given life.well people label and judge us according to their mentality. I usually say your struggle is not your progress, go ahead, find out what you want and live life according to your own close to nature ways. No need to stop here if we are pleasure seeking people, then God has given us lots of chances to get to the point where you can get the chance for doing more.
People generally take a rosy-glassed approach in perceiving themselves and that people who are more likely to show such self-enhancement in their self-perceptions are on a track for success in multiple domains.
In reality, we can only control so much of what happens in our worlds. But people vary in terms of how much they tend to think they have control—regardless of whether they actually have it. People who think they have a little more control than is actually warranted are at a dramatically reduced risk for depression.Humans don’t live in vacuums. We live in specific social circles. We have others who comprise our primary support group—often our spouse, family, and close friends. People often extend the self-relevant biases. For instance, people tend to over-idealize their partners. In fact, over-idealizing one’s romantic partner is a huge predictor of relationship success and satisfaction. Give others in your life the benefit of the doubt, and put on some rosy glasses when looking at them!
I’ve written about this feeling many times: the sense that nothing that you do really has any effect on the what is happening in your life. I’ve experienced it many times as well…
Learned helplessness is associated with depression. It describes that quality of depression where you retreat to you bed and just give up on trying to impact the world. You give up your agency, sense of purpose, and feeling of hope and find yourself deep in a hole. Once you are down that deep, it is hard to dig your way out of it—especially if you don’t even try to dig. So learned helplessness can maintain depression.
And now come to the point of defensive mental mechanisms.
When we don’t want anything, you know what? It’s another form of reaction to blocked sense of self due to underlying issues.
You are a complex person with many interests. And those interests will evolve and change over time. And that is okay.
So the first step to finding your passion when you feel like you have none is to recognize that you are a person of many passions and interests. Some big, some small, and some that change as you change. And the second step to this whole passion mystery is to relax. This is a process that shouldn’t feel stressful, instead it should be something interesting and exciting because there is no one right answer.
Sometimes the voice in your head saying: “there’s nothing out there for you” will slow you down. You’ll get stuck being worried about a lack of progress and could end up back down in the gutter, fearful that nothing is ever going to change.
But that thinking is what got you here in the first place, right?
So instead of listening to those voices, take a moment to show them the door. When you feel like saying: “There’s no passion for me” – instead think: “I have a lot of passions, and I’m enjoying exploring what I want to do .Remember, you don’t know what’s coming next. Life is full of interesting twists and turns, but if we continually pursue things that we enjoy doing whether for a job or hobby, it will make the journey interesting and more fun.