Tag: cognition

Guilt says…

Guilt says “I Did Something Bad.”
Guilt is a feeling that you did something wrong. Guilt comes to you from your conscience, which tells you that you are not living up to your values. Guilt says, “I did something bad. I was wrong. I must pay.” Guilt is about actions that have hurt yourself or others. It is situation specific and related to your misbehavior. Your guilt then sets about to punish you. The guilt serves as personal punishment for the undesirable behavior. Guilty feelings can be helpful in the sense that they help us to put on the brakes on behaviors we would regret later.
Sometimes you will hang on to guilt long after the situation has passed. Hang-on guilt remains because you do not know how to release it. Guilt for acts committed in childhood can cause a reservoir of negative emotions to be stored in the body resulting in curbing of healthy assertive behavior. This kind of guilt is sometimes at the bottom of co-dependency.
There is another type of unhealthy guilt where we feel that we are the cause of something not because of wrongdoing but because of underlying feelings of worthlessness. This pseudo-guilt inadvertently is passed down in families when a parent acted like a martyr (Why did I get such a child? You will be the death of me.) or used discipline techniques of shaming and blaming the child (You are stupid. Dummy!) The child, being vulnerable, absorbs the negative energy of the abuser and internalizes the negative labels as being true. (I am dumb because my father called me dumb when I knocked the glass of milk over.)

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Your struggle is not your progress..

We can’t stop yearning and desiring more in life. It’s our once given life.well people label and judge us according to their mentality. I usually say your struggle is not your progress, go ahead, find out what you want and live life according to your own close to nature ways. No need to stop here if we are pleasure seeking people, then God has given us lots of chances to get to the point where you can get the chance for doing more.
People generally take a rosy-glassed approach in perceiving themselves and that people who are more likely to show such self-enhancement in their self-perceptions are on a track for success in multiple domains.
In reality, we can only control so much of what happens in our worlds. But people vary in terms of how much they tend to think they have control—regardless of whether they actually have it. People who think they have a little more control than is actually warranted are at a dramatically reduced risk for depression.Humans don’t live in vacuums. We live in specific social circles. We have others who comprise our primary support group—often our spouse, family, and close friends. People often extend the self-relevant biases. For instance, people tend to over-idealize their partners. In fact, over-idealizing one’s romantic partner is a huge predictor of relationship success and satisfaction. Give others in your life the benefit of the doubt, and put on some rosy glasses when looking at them!
I’ve written about this feeling many times: the sense that nothing that you do really has any effect on the what is happening in your life. I’ve experienced it many times as well…
I believe,
Learned helplessness is associated with depression. It describes that quality of depression where you retreat to you bed and just give up on trying to impact the world. You give up your agency, sense of purpose, and feeling of hope and find yourself deep in a hole. Once you are down that deep, it is hard to dig your way out of it—especially if you don’t even try to dig. So learned helplessness can maintain depression.
And now come to the point of defensive mental mechanisms.
When we don’t want anything, you know what? It’s another form of reaction to blocked sense of self due to underlying issues.
You are a complex person with many interests. And those interests will evolve and change over time. And that is okay.
So the first step to finding your passion when you feel like you have none is to recognize that you are a person of many passions and interests. Some big, some small, and some that change as you change. And the second step to this whole passion mystery is to relax. This is a process that shouldn’t feel stressful, instead it should be something interesting and exciting because there is no one right answer.
Sometimes the voice in your head saying: “there’s nothing out there for you” will slow you down. You’ll get stuck being worried about a lack of progress and could end up back down in the gutter, fearful that nothing is ever going to change.

But that thinking is what got you here in the first place, right?

So instead of listening to those voices, take a moment to show them the door. When you feel like saying: “There’s no passion for me” – instead think: “I have a lot of passions, and I’m enjoying exploring what I want to do .Remember, you don’t know what’s coming next. Life is full of interesting twists and turns, but if we continually pursue things that we enjoy doing whether for a job or hobby, it will make the journey interesting and more fun.

Zairakhan

Never ending process.

Trying to figure out who you are seems relatively straightforward. After all, no one spends more time around you than you. But answering the #question of how well you know yourself is actually really tricky.Getting to know yourself means understanding your behavior and responses to certain situations. That’s why experiences are so good at helping you understand who you are. The benefits of figuring out who you are through experiences doesn’t end with self-discovery. Sometimes what you expect you’d do and what you actually do are completely different. But that can be a really good thing. Sometimes you can surprise yourself in how well you’ve done something. And that feeling is simply amazing. I am much deeper and complex than I probably realize. Human emotions and behaviors can’t always be explained away in a few sentences. It’s a never-ending process. And ultimately, it takes a lifetime.Anything that gets you in a relaxed, but active state of mind will work well as in my case to probe yourself. This is the ideal state to learn about yourself.Fortunately, there are some great ways to get to know yourself better. One of the better ways is to spend time alone with your thoughts. As a human being, you’re constantly going through character changes. I’ll try to explain this without getting too philosophical about it. Imagine all the things you did and liked when you were five years old. More than likely there is a long list of differences between who you were then and who you are now. In my opinion confidence and #reliance are at the heart of finding yourself. If you don’t have a solid sense of self-worth, you’ll listen to what others have to say all the time and to be swayed by their insistence on what is wrong, right, and appropriate. Learn to believe in yourself and trust your own feelings. Then, you’ll come up with a structure to base your new sense of self on. Remember, be patient with yourself and confident in your abilities as I do and tell to do. Everything will come with time. To sum up..I always try to be conscious of myself in thoughts, beliefs, feelings,words, actions and responses to others.,in different situations.Sometimes I really succeed.
Zairakhan

Life ..We too will die 

What is life? What is its purpose? A number of us have been forced by the death of the loved one to investigate these questions. Death forces us to look deeper into the nature and purpose of life. Reexamine our life values and goals: Contact with death awakens us to the fact that someday we too will die. This generates a number of questions. Will we have fulfilled our life purpose? Why have we come here to the earth? Why have we taken this physical body? Is our life part of some greater process? If so, what does it require of us? How can we live our lives more in harmony with that purpose?

Answering these questions might motivate us to change our life style, live a more meaningful existence, improve our character, purify our love, or investigate the deeper truths of life. We may also discover that life is more meaningful when we value others and their needs.

Zairakhan 

Like a shadow 

Depression is like the shadow that haunts us all secretly at some or the other period of time in our lives. It can become much like a vicious cycle if not attended to. There are a few things you could try 

Get yourself a change of place. Shift to a new room/home with more ventilation or a terrace or open balcony. Open air spaces are known to act like ventilator for the mind as much as the body by providing fresh air to breathe. The air we breathe is so important  yet so neglected. It’s really really important  to breathe fresh air. It’s cleansing for the body, as much as the mind.

Get yourself a small plant inside your room. Try placing it near your window. Tend to it every day and take care of by watering regularly. Green plants inside the home are known to be reflectors of positive energy.

Brighten your room. I won’t ask you to paint it afresh but bring in brighter bulbs into your room, an extra lamp would do great, too. Make sure you get ample sunlight inside your room during the day. Bright light would surely lessen the darkening thoughts in your head, too.

The best of all, get yourself a pet(if you can’t afford or manage an expensive pet , get fishes in a large bowl with lots of water for the fishes to swim around). Pets are said to elevate moods and #psychologists have found that homes with pets have lesser cases of depression-suffering members. If you can’t afford either, spend time or give food to the stray ones outside your home. Befriend them. That oughtta do the trick, too!

Snack on fruits. We often neglect the controllable factors to our health(physique and psyche). Fresh foods have high amounts of anti oxidants and fibre. They help in release of happy-hormones endorphins in your body giving you a full-feeling without a hint of sickness!

You could start working out/yoga. The world is celebrating the greatness of Yoga which benefits every single thought to every last cell in your being. I’ve personally benefitted a lot from yoga and that’s why I endorse it so much.

I won’t suggest you to push yourself too hard for anything but just remember this, medication and doctor…all on one side… You are the one and only bridge between them and a better and happier you! Take care.

zairakhan

Life is to create 

Life is to create something, something tangible. You start with little or nothing perhaps, but then you plan and assemble and…build. which I think is the best thing that we all have motivation for..  But we can get worn down from  the continual burden of having to ultimately be responsible for achieving our dreams or not. And some would say they can get dangerously too caught up in running their lives than living them. But most of all we have to arrange for the most part of our lives and you can get to the new conclusion about life.  Some are left too much of themselves out in the quest and have become too one-dimensional. In the worst situations, there may be resentment and regret that much of endeavor was ultimately for naught. So we have to keep balance and go towards the end of the world than to get back into life’s  previous, past events,  by not  being sure to include and make and face new ones.

Zairakhan

Giving up? 

 

Shutting yourself away doesn’t really improve the situation. At best, you will remain in stasis, and not get worse, but not get better. The best strategy I found is to strengthen your physical self. Treat your body as a container for your mental and emotional/spiritual self. If the container is stronger, your mental side will be better able to function as well. So to start – eat clean (no junk food, protein at every meal, and lots of green veg), sleep a full 8 -10 hours/night, and exercise 30 minutes/day. If you can do this, you will be significantly less depressed. Then on the mental side – find a hobby that you can develop yourself more with. It doesn’t have to be anything in particular other than you have a sincere interest in it. Find a group class that you can join, and that will start you in the #social direction. If you become more confident socially, you might be able to find some self satisfaction . If not, then at least you will have more friends, and possibly they might know someone and of course that’s you

Start from now and here you are important don’t de evaluate and exhaust yourself … good luck.

zairakhan