Tag: emotions

Truth

All of the people who underwent ‘transformation through suffering’ – – experienced a ‘moment of acceptance,’ when they gave up resisting their predicament. They ‘let go’, or surrendered to their state. In some cases, they felt they had no choice but to accept their state because they had nothing left to cling to or to hope for. This didn’t mean that they stopped trying to get better, or to rebuild their lives. It just meant that they faced up to the full reality of their state, and stopped trying to resist it in a rigid, adversarial way.

Zairakhan

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Common experience.. Anger

Isn’t it a mystery that we humans have certain positive and negative emotions and feelings. These emotions really brighten up our lives. Without them our lives would have been like a stone Well Psychologically anger is a fact of life. Our world is filled with violence, hatred, war, and aggression. Psychologically, many theories of human development focus on the infant’s struggle with anger and frustration and the primitive fantasies of aggression, guilt, and separation that result from these feelings. In essence, we grow up with anger right from the beginning of life.Anger is a common human experience. We all face it. And we encounter it frequently. Feelings of anger can arise in many different contexts. Experiencing unjust treatment; hearing a criticism; or simply not getting what you want,but a few of the potential triggers are quite effective . The experience of anger can range from mild irritation, to frustration, all the way up to seething rage. As a matter of fact, even boredom is a mild version of anger in the form of dissatisfaction with what is happening.

While feeling angry is a natural part of being human, it’s helpful to think about skillful ways to work with it that result in healthy living, rather than feelings of regret about what you said or did and obviously missed.

Why is anger good sometimes? Without feelings of anger, we wouldn’t take a stand against unfairness or injustice. Anger is an internal alarm that tells us something is not quite right. Unfortunately, however, far too often, the anger humans feel is being triggered by far less consequential factors than serious wrongdoing.

We all feel hurt or irritated when someone or something obstructs our needs or desires. Anger, though, is not truly an emotion it’s more than that .

In its psychologically technical sense, anger refers to the desire to “get even with”—that is, to take revenge on—the cause of the hurt.

For example, when another car suddenly cuts in front of your car on the road, adrenaline pumps into your bloodstream. Your heart rate jumps. Your blood pressure surges. These things, however, are just immediate fight-or-flight physiological responses to a perceived threat.

Then, in a split second, as a psychological reaction to those immediate physiological responses, indignation and animosity toward the other driver overrun your mind. And then, in split second after these feelings erupt, you fall into the desire for revenge. You honk your horn. You give a dirty look. You scream a curse. And there you have it: anger. Anger, therefore, is the wish for harm or bad or evil to come upon someone or something that—in your eyes—has injured or obstructed you.

So the psychological process is clear and simple. When you feel hurt by someone, then, in your anger, you want to hurt him or her back, just as you have been hurt.

Anger is too complex and complicated to be understood exactly. Many researchers are still researching on the anger feelings and therefore anger management too.For example, when you get angry you don’t really allow yourself to feel your inner vulnerability and hurt. All you can think about in the moment is your desire to get revenge, to defend your pride, to do something—anything—to create the feeling that you have power and importance. In essence, your outbursts of rage paradoxically hide your inner feelings of vulnerability, so you neverrecognize the hurt you’re feeling that triggers your hostile reaction. All the bitterness and hostility is a big puff of smoke, an emotional fraud. It hardens your heart toward others so that you can seal off your own emotional pain. Someway in Western psychology, acceptance of every person’s unique emotional experiences is commonplace, but many non-Western cultures place a high value on social conformity. As a way to ensure a child’s survival in such a culture, families teach children that all expressions of anger are forbidden and shameful. To accomplish this, parents, along with the rest of the culture in general, tend to suppress all recognition of individual emotions in their children. As long as the children stay within their culture they can function, but if they migrate to a Western culture, then emotional conflicts can cause profound psychological confusion.The experience of anger varies widely; how often anger occurs, how intensely it is felt, and how long it lasts are different for each person. People also vary in how easily they get angry (their anger threshold), as well as how comfortable they are with feeling angry. Some people are always getting angry while others seldom feel angry. Some people are very aware of their anger, while others fail to recognize anger when it occurs. Some experts suggest that the average adult gets angry about once a day and annoyed or peeved about three times a day. Other anger management experts suggest that getting angry fifteen times a day is more likely a realistic average. Regardless of how often we actually experience anger, it is a common and unavoidable emotion.

Anger can be constructive or destructive. When well managed, anger or annoyance has very few detrimental health or interpersonal consequences. At its roots, anger is a signal to you that something in your environment isn’t right. It captures your attention and motivates you to take action to correct that wrong thing. How you end up handling the anger signal has very important consequences for your overall health and welfare, however. When you express anger, your actions trigger others to become defensive and angry too. Blood pressures raises and stress hormones flow. Violence can ensue. You may develop a reputation as a dangerous ‘loose cannon’ whom no one wants to be around.I think anger is a product of genetics,environment and circumstances. When your life changes so abruptly as a kid, that is to go from positive surroundings to an abrupt negative change, it can impact you for the rest of your life.

As a psychologist, however, what I’ve learned about anger has come as much from my efforts as a therapist to better understand its dynamics in my clients as from examining the various writings focused on it. In what follows, I’ll try to highlight some of the insights I’ve gained from trying to make coherent sense of the self-defeating behaviors I’ve seen in scores of challenging cases.With very few exceptions, the angry people I’ve worked with have suffered from significant image about self deficits. Many have been quite successful in their careers but far less so in their relationships, where anger triggers abound. Regardless of their professional achievements, however, almost all of them have been afflicted by an “I’m not good enough.”

I am very aware of my anger. Sometimes, I take it out on others. But when I close my room door, its ME who has to deal with MYSELF. I get angry at myself for being angry…because I know I can manage it positively.

Though its a hard thing to control. But keep your heads up, and join with your wits in controling this strong sudden and difficult emotion.

Zairakhan

Primarily numb.

Sometimes we really don’t want to exhaust ourselves with extra burdens of negative or even positive emotions. In some cases it could be like a psychological defense so as to absorb the reality, means any events or something that arouses emotions to occupy your mental absorbing time. Whereas usually people just bottle up their emotions.One scenario that causes people to feel depressed without feeling sad is when depression causes them to feel primarily numb. They don’t feel sad, angry, joyful, or really anything at all. They may feel an amorphous misery, but no specific emotion.

Zairakhan

Self love or selfishness 

Sometimes when people hear the word “self-love” they associate it with the word “selfish,” but I’m here today to tell you that self-love is not selfish. Self-love is empowering and inspiring. It’s something we should all do every single day. Loving yourself doesn’t — and shouldn’t — take away from loving others, as being selfish does. Self-love allows you to embrace who you are and, as a result, be come better at loving not only yourself but others.

While self-love can be defined as an excess in self-pride, I prefer to think of it in terms of a feeling of self-respect and self-worth. I believe the more you respect yourself, the more you respect the world around you and the more likely you’ll be to live a positive life, therefore projecting positivity into the world. Of course, there will always be those that argue that self-love is narcissistic and that loving oneself too much is just plain selfish. 

Having respect for yourself leads you to have respect for others. Ever wonder why some people are so mean and judgmental? More often than not it’s because they don’t love themselves and are taking out the way they feel about themselves on others. If you want to live selflessly, loving yourself first is a great place to start because the more you learn to respect and love yourself, the more you will love and respect others, which, ultimately, makes the world a much better place.

Celebrating positive things about you supports a positive attitude about others. The more you value yourself and celebrate the good things about yourself, the more you will want to celebrate the goodness in others. When you are constantly looking down on yourself or focusing on the negative, it can be really difficult to find the positive in the world and in those around you. If you bring yourself up, you’ll be much happier — and more likely to bring others up as well.

Taking care of your happiness first leaves your heart open to caring for others. Putting yourself first might seem like the absolute wrong way to care about other people, but it’s the best step you can take to making sure those around you are at their happiest. Once your happiness is taken care of and you really learn to love yourself, you free up your emotional time and energy to love others and focus on them. Dwelling on self-doubt and self-hate significantly takes away from others so loving yourself is essential if you want to have the energy to care for other people in your life.

Believing in your own abilities allows you to pursue passions that can inspire others. Once you truly start believing in yourself and focusing on your positive qualities, you’ll be able to pursue your passions and spend time doing what you love. When you allow yourself to be who you are and follow your heart, you will be able to share your passion with the world. The more you believe in yourself, the more you will open up and share with others — and what you share just might be the very inspiration someone else needs.  

 Loving yourself makes you a happier, kinder, more positive person. The basic truth is this: if you love yourself, you be happier. When you are happier, you will be nicer and kinder and more open to others. You’ll be more loving and more willing to trust, enjoy, and celebrate other people. You’ll look for the good in yourself and in others and, as a result, you’ll have a better relationship with yourself and with the ones you love.
 
Though some might disagree, I firmly believe that loving yourself is an unselfish act because it leads to a more positive life for you — and the more positive your life is, the more positive you’ll be about the things and people around you. It’s easy to find excuses when it comes to doing something good for yourself. You can think of plenty of reasons why you should be doing something for someone else instead. But don’t let that little nagging voice in your head tell you that self-love isn’t worth it or its unobtainable. It’s possible for every single person to love him/herself, but it’s up to the individual to make it happen. If you aren’t already loving yourself and you have any doubts in your mind as to whether or not loving yourself is selfish, I hope this article has helped you realize that self-love is, in fact, an unselfish act.

Zaira Khan 

Core beliefs 

Negativity affects your thoughts, how you see the world. Nothing is ever good, nothing will ever be good. The world is going to Hell in a hand basket. The thing is it doesn’t just affect you, it affects everyone around you. People stop paying attention, and start avoiding you, because negativity wears on everyone around you.

“Positive and negative emotions cannot occupy the mind at the same time. One or the other must dominate. It is your responsibility to make sure that positive emotions constitute the dominating influence of your mind.” — Napoleon Hill
If someone is diagnosed with any disorder, then same strategies more or less cannot be applied.. There is a great difference between clinical depression and depression.. your situational autopsy can get you into high gear fast if you are willing to examine and confront your own self related core beliefs. Which are sometimes totally irrational. Such beliefs can reside in our heads for so long that they may have become facts to us. Well, irrational beliefs, as we say are those that are actually inflexible, illogical and inconsistent with actual reality. As a psychologist I know that they tend to interfere with your psychological well being and get in the way of you pursuing meaningful goals. When your world feels like its falling apart, you are going to believe the bad ones more. So as a positive thinker you must challenge such myths rather than accept them as FACTS. you can  always check your positivity by checking self on reality check substances.. Like I don’t deserve a second chance to change my life for the better. No one would love me if I did all that only  I wanted. I am not quite confident about self to try something new with my life….

My point is positive thinkers promote productivity and creativity they support positive relationships. They have the ability for acceptance and tolerance. They know how to strengthen persistence and self discipline.. etc..

Patients have to use medicine and obviously cognitive behavioral therapies  and some strategies focusing on  on here and now, only then  they can someway get to the point of setting a forward looking goals. And with priorities straight way..

Zaira Khan

Feeling OK 

We might feel that emotional regulation is about feeling okay. However, it is reasonable to assume that “feeling okay” is just the reward we get for listening to our emotions. My assumption is that emotions are there to motivate you to do the right thing. For instance, fear makes you run away from threats, love encourages you to invest in a (hopefully) beneficial relationship, and anger fuels your desire to protect your rights. From this perspective, emotions are the instant priority list of survival. Of course they can be far from flawless, but they most often encourage us to move in the right direction before we even realize that there is any such thing as a right direction.

Zairakhan

PC. Zairakhan 

Gut feeling 

There is no such thing as a purely logical decision. The brain uses a combination of logic and emotion when making decisions of any kind. That specific emotion, innate to us as humans, is intuition. We possess the capacity to feel, and thereby the ability to know things without consciously reasoning. The “gut feeling” is real, and we use it all the time.

Zaira Khan