Tag: experiences

Truth

All of the people who underwent ‘transformation through suffering’ – – experienced a ‘moment of acceptance,’ when they gave up resisting their predicament. They ‘let go’, or surrendered to their state. In some cases, they felt they had no choice but to accept their state because they had nothing left to cling to or to hope for. This didn’t mean that they stopped trying to get better, or to rebuild their lives. It just meant that they faced up to the full reality of their state, and stopped trying to resist it in a rigid, adversarial way.

Zairakhan

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Common experience.. Anger

Isn’t it a mystery that we humans have certain positive and negative emotions and feelings. These emotions really brighten up our lives. Without them our lives would have been like a stone Well Psychologically anger is a fact of life. Our world is filled with violence, hatred, war, and aggression. Psychologically, many theories of human development focus on the infant’s struggle with anger and frustration and the primitive fantasies of aggression, guilt, and separation that result from these feelings. In essence, we grow up with anger right from the beginning of life.Anger is a common human experience. We all face it. And we encounter it frequently. Feelings of anger can arise in many different contexts. Experiencing unjust treatment; hearing a criticism; or simply not getting what you want,but a few of the potential triggers are quite effective . The experience of anger can range from mild irritation, to frustration, all the way up to seething rage. As a matter of fact, even boredom is a mild version of anger in the form of dissatisfaction with what is happening.

While feeling angry is a natural part of being human, it’s helpful to think about skillful ways to work with it that result in healthy living, rather than feelings of regret about what you said or did and obviously missed.

Why is anger good sometimes? Without feelings of anger, we wouldn’t take a stand against unfairness or injustice. Anger is an internal alarm that tells us something is not quite right. Unfortunately, however, far too often, the anger humans feel is being triggered by far less consequential factors than serious wrongdoing.

We all feel hurt or irritated when someone or something obstructs our needs or desires. Anger, though, is not truly an emotion it’s more than that .

In its psychologically technical sense, anger refers to the desire to “get even with”—that is, to take revenge on—the cause of the hurt.

For example, when another car suddenly cuts in front of your car on the road, adrenaline pumps into your bloodstream. Your heart rate jumps. Your blood pressure surges. These things, however, are just immediate fight-or-flight physiological responses to a perceived threat.

Then, in a split second, as a psychological reaction to those immediate physiological responses, indignation and animosity toward the other driver overrun your mind. And then, in split second after these feelings erupt, you fall into the desire for revenge. You honk your horn. You give a dirty look. You scream a curse. And there you have it: anger. Anger, therefore, is the wish for harm or bad or evil to come upon someone or something that—in your eyes—has injured or obstructed you.

So the psychological process is clear and simple. When you feel hurt by someone, then, in your anger, you want to hurt him or her back, just as you have been hurt.

Anger is too complex and complicated to be understood exactly. Many researchers are still researching on the anger feelings and therefore anger management too.For example, when you get angry you don’t really allow yourself to feel your inner vulnerability and hurt. All you can think about in the moment is your desire to get revenge, to defend your pride, to do something—anything—to create the feeling that you have power and importance. In essence, your outbursts of rage paradoxically hide your inner feelings of vulnerability, so you neverrecognize the hurt you’re feeling that triggers your hostile reaction. All the bitterness and hostility is a big puff of smoke, an emotional fraud. It hardens your heart toward others so that you can seal off your own emotional pain. Someway in Western psychology, acceptance of every person’s unique emotional experiences is commonplace, but many non-Western cultures place a high value on social conformity. As a way to ensure a child’s survival in such a culture, families teach children that all expressions of anger are forbidden and shameful. To accomplish this, parents, along with the rest of the culture in general, tend to suppress all recognition of individual emotions in their children. As long as the children stay within their culture they can function, but if they migrate to a Western culture, then emotional conflicts can cause profound psychological confusion.The experience of anger varies widely; how often anger occurs, how intensely it is felt, and how long it lasts are different for each person. People also vary in how easily they get angry (their anger threshold), as well as how comfortable they are with feeling angry. Some people are always getting angry while others seldom feel angry. Some people are very aware of their anger, while others fail to recognize anger when it occurs. Some experts suggest that the average adult gets angry about once a day and annoyed or peeved about three times a day. Other anger management experts suggest that getting angry fifteen times a day is more likely a realistic average. Regardless of how often we actually experience anger, it is a common and unavoidable emotion.

Anger can be constructive or destructive. When well managed, anger or annoyance has very few detrimental health or interpersonal consequences. At its roots, anger is a signal to you that something in your environment isn’t right. It captures your attention and motivates you to take action to correct that wrong thing. How you end up handling the anger signal has very important consequences for your overall health and welfare, however. When you express anger, your actions trigger others to become defensive and angry too. Blood pressures raises and stress hormones flow. Violence can ensue. You may develop a reputation as a dangerous ‘loose cannon’ whom no one wants to be around.I think anger is a product of genetics,environment and circumstances. When your life changes so abruptly as a kid, that is to go from positive surroundings to an abrupt negative change, it can impact you for the rest of your life.

As a psychologist, however, what I’ve learned about anger has come as much from my efforts as a therapist to better understand its dynamics in my clients as from examining the various writings focused on it. In what follows, I’ll try to highlight some of the insights I’ve gained from trying to make coherent sense of the self-defeating behaviors I’ve seen in scores of challenging cases.With very few exceptions, the angry people I’ve worked with have suffered from significant image about self deficits. Many have been quite successful in their careers but far less so in their relationships, where anger triggers abound. Regardless of their professional achievements, however, almost all of them have been afflicted by an “I’m not good enough.”

I am very aware of my anger. Sometimes, I take it out on others. But when I close my room door, its ME who has to deal with MYSELF. I get angry at myself for being angry…because I know I can manage it positively.

Though its a hard thing to control. But keep your heads up, and join with your wits in controling this strong sudden and difficult emotion.

Zairakhan

How much life is too much?

Still want to crawl under a rock

 I still remember that when I was making myself a practicing psychologist, I was taking up or lets say was ready to take up many challenges to become well known in my profession,as there were tough competitions..Which I am now…. Some years back I had a seminar to present and that was for the psychology students,who were doing masters in clinical psychology and that was a great breakthrough as I was getting chance to address in one of the best institutes of Clinical Psychology. I was fully prepared with my laptop and presentation on endogenous and exogenous factors of migraine in female patients. As I entered the hall took up the dice and mic, started giving brief bio-data of my professional background and major interests of studies. And all of a sudden a young man of armed forces who was studying clinical psychology stood up and asked ARE YOU MARRIED? I without looking at him said I ABSOLUTELY DON’T KNOW?

I still remember I was so embarrassed with my answer that I had to take some deep breaths to focus on the work I was bound to do. but the students clapped for like five minutes. I don’t know why? But I wasn’t married and I could have said so with simple word NO.

Believe me in recalling this first seminar which was appreciated a lot I feel great success but I truly still want to crawl under a rock,that my answer to that invalid and unexpected question was totally nonsense.lol

Well to sum up I want to share this wonderful quotation.

 

No end to this cruelty

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Today the world is facing great threats of terrorism. Thousands of innocent people have been killed and still there seems to be no end to this cruelty. Some blame Islam as a religion of grave terror and bloodshed. But, in reality, there is no connection between Islam and terrorism at all; Islam is as closely related to terrorism as light is to darkness or life is to death or peace is to war. Islam very strongly condemns terrorism and encourages establishing peace and order in the land.
However, one cannot deny that on many occasions some Muslims are found involved in terrorist activities either individually, on behalf of a group or on behalf of a country with a predominately Muslim population.
But let it be very clear that we do not justify terrorism of any kind whatsoever, whatever the colour, religion, sentiment or objective the terrorist may claim to represent. Islam does not approve of disorder in any form. Islam does far from teach terrorism. It teaches rule of law, obedience to the authorities and does not let anyone take the law into his own hands. The Holy Quran states:
“O ye who believe! Obey Allah, and obey His Messenger and those who are in authority over you.’ (Ch.4: V.60)
The Holy Quran states that “those who create disorder in the earth, they are the real losers”; “and commit not iniquity in the earth, creating disorder”; “and Allah loves not disorder”. Such words and phrases are found in the Holy Quran repeatedly.
After this clear teaching such terrorist actions of some Muslim individuals or groups have no cover or justification at all, and they must be condemned widely. And those who are involved must be brought in front of justice.
As far as Islam is concerned, it categorically rejects and condemns every form of terrorism. It does not provide any cover or justification for any act of violence, be it committed by an individual, a group or a government.
The Muslim Community, which is a peace loving and law abiding community, strongly condemns all acts of terrorism anywhere in the world.We join in spreading a message of peace, love, harmony, tolerance and brotherhood.
We reject and condemn all acts and forms of violence and terrorism unreservedly and totally, because it is our deeply rooted belief that not only Islam but also no true religion, whatever its name, can sanction violence and the bloodshed of innocent men, women and children in the name of God. God is love, God is peace!
Love can never beget hatred, and peace can never lead to war.
Zairakhan

We live in a mind

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As we move through life, acting and interacting with our environment, various memories are brought to consciousness as a result of sense stimulation – causing us to think, speak and act according to the contents of these memories. We live in a mind, which has been conditioned by the educational system, our beliefs,culture,society, propaganda, friends, family members, and the list expands according to our life’s experiences. While we think and feel like we are in control of our lives, for the most part we operate on automatic based on the contents of our subconscious being shuffled back and forth into the conscious mind by sense stimulation. However, once we begin to practice the experiments of proof, and experience the theory first-hand for ourselves, then the contents become rearranged differently and a clearer or new understanding is revealed.
The contents of the subconscious, combing with the contents of the conscious mind, which “cause” the “effects” we experience in life. Change or rearrange the contents of the subconscious and we perceive and experience life differently. Having the knowledge of what the mind is and how it operates leads to self-reflection..GO TOWARDS SELF REFLECTION IF YOU HAVE ANY CHOICE.

Zaira khan

Pursue passions

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Believing in your own abilities allows you to pursue passions that can inspire others. Once you truly start believing in yourself and focusing on your positive qualities, you’ll be able to pursue your passions and spend time doing what you love. When you allow yourself to be who you are and follow your heart, you will be able to share your passion with the world. The more you believe in yourself, the more you will open up and share with others — and what you share just might be the very inspiration someone else needs.

Zaira Khan