Tag: focus

How much life is too much?

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Can we start a new life at 40?

I love these two quotes to start with …

Life is to live,if you are breathing you can alter your way of life now, especially if you are 40.Its a wrong concept that we cannot change we can change as life demands and as we want..It is commonly believed that 40 has become the new 20 (or at least the new 30), so it’s no surprise that many people are starting over at 40 with new careers, passions and even romance.

As far as my concept of life is we have once given life which is to be lived once, with death our consciousness our now will wither away.We are lucky that CREATOR gave us this gift,of which we were not conscious of before birth and will not be conscious of death.

Today one of my bipolar patient answered the same question..as… I’m almost 30 and am having to “restart” my life due to learning how to manage my major depression and anxiety disorder. My future ideas and dreams were kind of dashed after high school and I realized I couldn’t function well long-term in society with how my brain works. I’m getting there, though, and starting to form new dreams.

It’s always possible to start your life before you’re dead.

Now,as far as question is related age forty is also called a transition age,why? Its because we gain certain experiences ,and life training to apply on ourselves so as to think that let it be till I’m alive. and this time with more responsibility.We live our lives with certain responsibilities and obligations,so if we are born we have to live as humans..isn’t it,we must have our strong belief systems in which we must feel obliged and responsible.certain queries emerge while thinking about 40..If you haven’t already, take a moment to decide if how you live your life in a way that complements who you are today. It’s easy to get stuck in routines without realizing that they no longer deliver like they used to. Are you fulfilled in your job, with your romantic life, your friendships? Is it time to re-evaluate?

In Lynda Barry’s What it is, she writes about how it’s important to play. Not only for kids. For adults, too. That when we grow up, we not only forget to play, but we forget how to play, and playing is important.

I believe a kid who is playing is not alone. There is something brought alive during play, and this something when played with, seems to play back.

If you watch TV all the time, and you hate your job, and you are so afraid of change that you never change, you stop playing altogether. When you move, when you stretch yourself, when you do something radical, you remember what it was like when you dreamed a world in your head, and that was enough, because when you dreamed it, you were living in it.

As a professional I usually tell people age matters ,but in some areas only… Over the past few years I’ve really embraced this — if someone doesn’t like me it has no impact on my life. Mine is good and happy and the people in it are there for a reason. I want people to like me and know I’m a good person, but if they don’t, it’s none of my business and it’s not my job to try to change their minds. You have to develop a thick skin pretty quick. It’s a lot easier to be negative when you’re not standing face to face with someone, right?

Here I want to add this awesome quote..

If you announce your radical change to the world, sometimes people like to take that opportunity to tell you how wrong your radical change is. Are you running away from something? they ask. That is a horrible city, they opine. I don’t know why you would want to move there. That is a terrible idea! they respond. But I wish you all the best.

Once you start making radical change, you will discover how frightening radical change is. Not to you. You’re in it.Once I read recently on some blog, the fish doesn’t know it’s wet. Radical change can be terrifying to those around you. It upsets their teacups. It makes them question their own lives. It causes them to wonder why they can’t do what you are doing. Sometimes, though, it inspires people. Which is good. Because here’s what you don’t want to do in life: conform. Here is what you do want to do in life: inspire.

You also kind of have to tolerate being at sea. Right now, the parking lot behind where I am is being repaved, and the floor is vibrating. Here, there are more people, and more cars, and more traffic, and more things with which I am not familiar, and more stuff to do, and more new places to navigate, and more opportunities to pursue, and more of everything in the world. This can be a little disconcerting. You are an alien. But you can also feel your brain changing. Expanding like taffy stretching. You let it happen, knowing that at least you won’t be who you were. You’ll be somebody new.

People who don’t change are never anyone new. They’re always who they were. Is that who you want to be?

There are many reasons we must hit our reset button in life. Death, divorce, job in which you’re absolutely miserable, and it is sucking you dry every minute of everyday, a personal epiphany, and on, and on. Whatever your equation happens to be, it’s time to start over.

Really think about what you want. If you want to take the spiritual path, meditate on it. Ask your guides to assist you. Allow whatever you need to hear to come in. Allowing is so powerful.

If you want the brainy path (or in conjunction with the spiritual), think about what excites you. Write it down on an on-going list. Do you love to paint? Draw? Problem solve? When you read, what kind of books are you drawn to? Biographies? Complex, problem solving mysteries? Self Help books? What is it in these books that draws you in?

There are many areas you can look at to discover hidden passions that you appease with various stimulation, TV shows, books, magazines, internet searches and of course hobbies. What excites you?

Ask your friends and family what they think gets you going. When do they “light up” when you’re discussing things with them? They know more than you think. We notice things in others on a continual basis, and we often must just ask the questions to bring it to the surface because it is stored somewhere in their brains waiting for use. Write all of it down as you go. Keep a book just for ideas on what you really love.

Do a brain dump. In your “career journal” write down anything that comes to mind, and just keep writing until nothing is left. Get it out of your head and on to paper. It’s amazing how different things can look when they exist outside of your mind.If you’re fresh out of ideas after all of that brainstorming, get a coach or career counselor. They can assist you in uncovering what you may be hiding from.The thing we hide most often from is our own magnificence. We’re often afraid to step into our own truth and power because it feels too big, or scary, or we don’t believe we deserve it. Guess what? You do deserve it. I truly believe that if we all lived in our most passionate self and allowed ourselves our full potential, we would all fit together perfectly, like a well-oiled, complex machine.

This is the area where many of us get stuck and frustrated. What if there is more than one option? What if you just don’t see your dream as something you can do? What if you just do not know? Try joining a few professional groups, or speaking to professionals in a few of your choice areas. See what you think and feel about it after you look at the life of those professionals.

Simply try to throw away these assumptions that we hold due to family, friends, society or all of the above:

I can only do one thing professionally at a time.

Says who? That’s something someone made up. Move on.

I’m not good at anything.

Says who? This one has probably held you in your own trap for years. Get professional help to release this idea if you can’t do it on your own. It’s a life destroyer.

I’m highly educated and what I want does not require education. I can’t throw away my education.

Okay. You keep going to that job you hate then. Obviously the education did not actually work for you for whatever reason.

Yes, they may. And this may be what got you here in the first place. Does it matter what others think if you are miserable? Or is that facade more important than having your own life? What’s most important is what you think of yourself and that you’re living your best life. Not anyone else’s. No one said it would be easy to take control of your own destiny.

Good. Maybe that can be part of how you make money while you get your other life on solid footing. Otherwise, you are just making up more reasons to stay miserable. Nice work. You win the “most human” award. We are so good at being comfortably miserable. I have done it too.

Can you afford to be out of work for a year while treating your stress related heart condition? Can you afford to lose your job to someone who likes it and has the passion that you lack? There are always reasons to not do something. What’s more important are the reasons to do them. If the reasons to do something else are right for you, you can figure out the rest.

Also, allow yourself to know that it’s okay if you take a while to figure it out. We get caught up in things when we finally decide it’s time and we expect things to just happen as our thought process changes. Remember, the speed of our thoughts are much faster than the speed of our lives. Accept that. It helps.

Also accept that you may choose wrong, or appear to choose wrong at first. Often, once we start to change our lives, the journey ends up looking completely different than we could have planned. I call this divine timing/guidance. You can call it crap or annoying or whatever works for you, but again, if you allow it, it will lead you to exactly the place you are supposed to be. We can learn from everything we do, if we allow it.

Once you narrow it down and have done your research, begin making a plan. Does it involve more education? What’s the time and monetary cost? Does it require involvement in certain groups? Can you start in the group as you work your way into the profession? Professional groups are so helpful for education and understanding of your chosen area. It doesn’t have to be a complex plan. Do it in a way that works for you.

Once you create the plan, get buy-in from loved ones (if you have others that are involved in this, kids, spouses, whoever). Let them know what kind of emotional, financial and physical needs you will require assistance with as you take this new journey. Give them time to digest it, because it will probably have an impact on them as well. Be clear in expressing your needs. Ask for feedback. Make sure that you have someone privately (parent, sibling, friend) or professionally who can assist you with all of the path obstacles.

Talk about exciting! You have the courage to begin again, and that, all by itself, is something to celebrate. Celebrate yourself often through this, as you’re walking away from something that did not work for you before, into something that will (or at least get you closer). That is truly living your life. Good for you!

Emotions and social interactions — even personality — may systematically change as people enter middle age. Many studies have found that people become calmer and less neurotic as they age. “There’s a quieting of emotional storms.”

Obviously

“Instead of a crisis, middle age should be thought of as a time for a new form of self-investment,” Reuter-Lorenz says. “This time of life brings so many new opportunities to invest in your own cognitive and physical resources, so you can buffer against the effects of older age.”

Coping with the challenges that present in 40 takes time and energy, but it is a necessary part of finding greater satisfaction in life. Below are some tips for leading a healthy lifestyle in middle age.

Explore, accept and share your feelings; allow yourself to reflect on your life regularly; devote extra time to your partner and rekindle your relationship,if you have; set new goals and develop new hobbies; travel; volunteer; devote special time to your children; take care of your mental health (and join a group or seek out a therapist if necessary).

Exercise can help people take charge of their health and maintain the level of fitness necessary for an active, independent lifestyle. Many people think that physical decline is an inevitable consequence of aging and that we are bound to slow down and do less. With proper care, this is not necessarily true. Much of the physical frailty attributed to aging is actually the result of inactivity, disease or poor nutrition. Many difficulties can be eased or even reversed by improving lifestyle behaviors. One of the major benefits of regular physical activity is protection against coronary heart disease. Physical activity also provides some protection against other chronic diseases such as adult-onset diabetes, arthritis, hypertension, certain cancers, osteoporosis, and depression. Research has also proven that exercise can reduce tension and stress. Overall, exercise is one of the best things you can do for your health. You can maintain an active sex life, keep fit and enjoy yourself as you mature.

No matter your age, a balanced, nutritious diet is essential to good health. Older adults in particular need to eat a balanced diet using all the food groups. Eating a variety of foods helps ensure adequate levels of vitamins and minerals.

Some adults tend to put on weight as they age. This is generally due to changes in hormones, overeating, and inactivity. The best way to lose body fat is to eat fewer calories, especially from saturated fats, and to participate in aerobic exercises. Just an extra 100 calories per day can cause a 10-pound gain over the course of a year, but those extra calories can be burned by a 20- to 30-minute brisk daily walk.

Sleep and rest are great rejuvenates. With age, sleep patterns may change. Be sure to include breaks in your daily exercise program, especially if you sleep fewer than eight hours each night. Exercise can help relieve problems with insomnia as well. Mild exercise for a few hours during the day can help you get a restful night’s sleep.

Allow your 40s to be a time of creative change. It can be your greatest opportunity for having the life you want or gaining a sense of peace.

🙂

All the best

Zaira Khan

 

THEN WHO AM I???????

cana

I am the woman selling shoes and socks.
I am the one
you buried alive in the wall
and thus became guiltless as the breeze is.
You did not know
that bricks and mortars cannot bury voices.
I am the same
whom you buried under lots of customs.
You did not know
that light never fears darkness
I am she
from whose lap you took flowers,
and returned thorns and embers.
You did not know
that fragrances cannot be arrested.
I am she whom you bought and sold
In the name of my modesty.
You did not know
that floating on a clay pitcher even Sohni cannot die..
I am she
whose hand you gave away
to unburden yourself.
You did not know
that a nation cannot be awaken
while its mind is still enslaved.
You traded me for my chastity and modesty
for my fidelity,my precious and motherly love.
But now is the time of the flowers in the lap.
I am selling shoes and socks…But I AM NOT THE HALF CLAD WOMAN ON THE POSTER ANYMORE.
THEN WHO AM I???????
ZAIRA KHAN

Racing thoughts.

Racing thoughts may be replays of past events which generated anxiety or sadness for you. They may also be worries about things that could happen in the future. They are strings of thoughts that are blown out of proportion, have a pattern, consume time, and often have no rational conclusion.

When thoughts like these flood your mind, they drain your energy, stop you from living in the present moment, and can create a loop in your brain that feels difficult to escape. They can also make it harder to concentrate and accomplish daily tasks, and impair yourmemory and sleep.
Having racing thoughts is often disturbing and frightening because it creates a sense of being out of control. But having racing thoughts does not mean you’re out of control or crazy. It does mean that you are anxious and that your stress level is higher than usual.
Our mind usually worries about things it is convinced are true but, most of the time, are actually not true. You can balance your mind’s tendency to predict the worst outcome by coming up with positive alternative scenarios. 
Returning your focus to the present will help you accept and let go of what you cannot control. It will also help you realize that you can’t change the past, and that the future hasn’t happened yet, so it’s a waste of time to keep thinking about them.
Focus on here and now…
Zaira Khan.