Tag: lifeadvice

Exercise 

This exercise will be to spend one or two weeks observing everything you are doing, trying to do as little as possible that is purely self serving and do as much as possible in serving other people for the sake of serving. Although you may prefer to serve animals instead of humans, it is important to make this exercise a service to humans. Do things not because you will get credit, not because people will think what a wonderful person you are, but do things anonymously. If you serve at the soup kitchen for the homeless as an example, do not give out your full name, do not say anything about yourself so that no one can give you credit. Do not tell anyone, friends, family, what you have done so that you cannot attain any credit whatsoever for your acts. You will observe how much your ego wants to do good things only if you can get credit for them, which would be self serving. This is  the EXERCISE of attaining liberation through being of selfless service to others. Giving to gain credit or acknowledgment is not pure, true giving and will not bring the highest benefits.

Zaira Khan

ALL THE BEST

​Attraction vs. Avoidance

Some people are motivated more by doing things, whilst others are motivated more by avoiding things.

People who are driven towards doing things tend to have positive goals and seek to achieve specific things. They are forward-looking and see the world as being full of opportunity. They generally have a passion and desire to succeed in order to gain either specific rewards or general recognition.

They focus is largely on the future and when they have achieved something they may even forget about it in the headlong charge into further challenges.

Some people have problems with this in that they are attracted to too many things. They dart from one opportunity to another, seeking gratification all over the place. They may be looking for something and they may not yet know what they want.

Those who are driven to avoid things something look like they are attracted to the things they are actually doing, but they are actually looking more over their shoulder than in front of them. For example people who are very energetic at work may be driven more by a worry about failure or criticism than by an attraction towards achievement.

Those who are avoidance-driven focus more by their fears than their desires (which may well be fears in disguise).

Avoidance can be a high-stress preference. We may be generally driven by attraction when things are going well, but when we are threatened or otherwise experience high levels of stress, we may use an avoidance strategy to get away from that discomfort.

A problem with avoidance when compared to attraction is that there are many directions in which to run away from something, yet only one way you can run towards something. Motivating a person by triggering avoidance is not necessarily a helpful approach.

For those who are driven by attraction, seek their passions and lay opportunity in their path. They will swoop towards what you are offering.

For those driven by avoidance, point out the problems of the past and the dangers of the present. Show them a future where they can at least avoid the worst of the problems they face.

Zaira  Khan

No fun

One of life’s biggest set-ups for being lonely is living with the erroneous belief that your way is the best way of doing things and insisting others agree with you. Some people seem to have taken a life course called, How To Be Absolutely Sure of Everything! It’s like their reality testing mechanism is stuck on “It so because I think it is so.” People who feel constantly threatened and angry when others question their actions substitute being right for living a happy life. Living daily always on the defense, being in charge of the rights and wrongs of the Universe, is no fun!

Zairakhan

Beautiful necessity in life.. 

Respect is foundational to love, and one of the best ways to show your loved ones or even to others is that you love them is to treat them with respect. Small habits that you can incorporate into your daily routine, and also a loving and positive attitude will make all of them to feel loved and respected.They will feel proud to have you around.so try to be affectionate ,generally.

Showing respect to others improves relationships and productivity and increases the odds that they will treat you respectfully as well.
Apologize if you’ve argued with someone remember that others have feelings, too...and if u want to carry on with them then to ask for sorry is not a big deal,so dont hesitate.
In my opinion it is one of our highest demands that we need to be treated well by others and same is with others,they also want the same. So why not to treat others good by words and in actions.
Consider the next person’s position and feelings before reacting. Offering a seat to the elderly, crippled, or simply helping a child to cross the street is a simple act of kindness and courtesy…such simple things make you more humble and satisfied with self.
I have observed that if you show patience and humility. The other person may learn something from you. This does not imply becoming a doormat.so try it.
Respect for the dignity of others includes knowing when to stand up to authority that has overstepped its legitimacy. So do not excuse bad behavior or wrongdoing just because you were “following orders”.
Be loyal to others and your relationship with them. Do not say bad things about others as this reflects your personality. If you can talk about someone else behind their back, most likely you won’t command respect as the person will believe you can talk badly about him/her behind his/her back.
Protect those under you and hide other peoples’ faults. When you do that, it may not have immediate effect but you command respect in the long run! I can bet on this.
Being respectful tells people you not only care about others, but you care about yourself. The most important part of being respectful is respecting yourself; if you don’t, people won’t respect you.
A great technique for giving respect is to empathize or relate to the other person. Listening and responding intelligently, seriously, and beneficially shows a great amount of respect. Everyone wants what they say to be heard and taken into consideration.
Respecting people entails not just allowing for differences in terms of their goals and ambitions, but going one step further and encouraging them to follow their dreams, no matter how far-fetched or impossible they may be. Discouraging people from achieving their goals can come across as condescending in their viewpoint, and it belittles their sense of ability and importance.
Never fight them if they are being mean to you. Just be calm and be nice to them.Be kind as long as your self esteem and confidence persists.
In my view respecting people is a beautiful necessity in life.

Way of thinking 

The difference between a confident person and a person who feels inferiority is their way of thinking. while the first tends to praise themselves the second one keeps putting themselves down. The mind of the person who lacks self confidence is usually full of negative messages and that’s why the excess negative ones reach the other people around them in the form of criticism. The conclusion you should have reached is: The overly critical person usually lacks self confidence.

Zaira Khan 

A perspective 

Setting goals is a key step in accomplishments. However, I  often see clients with lofty goals that may not even be realistic.  Holding ourselves to goals that we cannot reach can damage our  self-esteem and inhibit our interest in trying to reach these goals  again.

When setting your mind to reach a goal, ask yourself “Is this  realistic and can I actually attain this goal?” If the answer is no,  consider breaking the goal down into intermediate steps or modifying it  altogether.
Empower yourself to change what you can, and let go  of the rest. Don’t expend your energy trying to control others. Focus on  yourself,first.There’s a reason why the saying “When life throws you  lemons, make lemonade” has been around for years. When things aren’t  going right, ask yourself “Could things be worse?” or “Is there anything  I can take out of this that can be a benefit to me?”
More often than not, there is a positive aspect to things that  happen, even those that feel negative. Try to view it in a different  light and you may find your attitude turn around. It can  be very difficult to focus on what is directly in front of you and  ensure that you are fully present.
Today’s technology and expectation to be connected or available to  work at all times is one of the most prominent challenges people face  when trying to be present in the “here and now.”
Listen to what your heart and mind tell you about what  you need to do. Learning to reflect on your inner thoughts and feelings  will help you trust putting them into action.
Stop and see what it is that’s keeping you stuck right  now. Oftentimes it’s a blind spot you can’t see, so taking time to null  things over helps you see more clearly. Is it a decision you’re afraid  to make? Are certain people bringing you down? Are you in a cycle of  negative thinking? Or whatsoever,You must be aware.For life improvement, I suggest the reader put life on  pause, for at least a few moments a day, and consider what you’d like to  accomplish today, and the vibe you want to carry.
Years ago, a client of mine was searching for a guidepost or mantra  by which to live his life. After much soul-searching, he decided that,  with every decision he makes, every day, he wanted to write the “better  story.”
The better story might be getting up earlier rather than sleeping in  [or] reaching out to help someone instead of passively ignoring their  need… This turned out to be an enormous gift to me, as I now try to do  this every day surely is a positive activity.
You don’t need an overhaul to improve the quality of your life. Just a  few steps can help to boost your well-being and make your days more  meaningful. And the great part is that you can start today.Zaira Khan 

Priorities 

Take 10 minutes to list your priorities and to examine who or what is important to you. Keep this list in a place where you can look at it frequently, and make sure the big stuff comes first.   Think of your life as a jar you want to fill with rocks & sand. If you put the sand in first, the rocks won’t fit.  The amount of time you spend on things should be somewhat relative to how important it is in your life. Life is short and moments are precious.  Don’t waste time on the things that don’t matter.Take 10 minutes to list your priorities and to examine who or what is important to you. Keep this list in a place where you can look at it frequently, and make sure the big stuff comes first.   Think of your life as a jar you want to fill with rocks & sand. If you put the sand in first, the rocks won’t fit.  The amount of time you spend on things should be somewhat relative to how important it is in your life. Life is short and moments are precious.  Don’t waste time on the things that don’t matter.

Zaira Khan