Some people are motivated more by doing things, whilst others are motivated more by avoiding things.
People who are driven towards doing things tend to have positive goals and seek to achieve specific things. They are forward-looking and see the world as being full of opportunity. They generally have a passion and desire to succeed in order to gain either specific rewards or general recognition.
They focus is largely on the future and when they have achieved something they may even forget about it in the headlong charge into further challenges.
Some people have problems with this in that they are attracted to too many things. They dart from one opportunity to another, seeking gratification all over the place. They may be looking for something and they may not yet know what they want.
Those who are driven to avoid things something look like they are attracted to the things they are actually doing, but they are actually looking more over their shoulder than in front of them. For example people who are very energetic at work may be driven more by a worry about failure or criticism than by an attraction towards achievement.
Those who are avoidance-driven focus more by their fears than their desires (which may well be fears in disguise).
Avoidance can be a high-stress preference. We may be generally driven by attraction when things are going well, but when we are threatened or otherwise experience high levels of stress, we may use an avoidance strategy to get away from that discomfort.
A problem with avoidance when compared to attraction is that there are many directions in which to run away from something, yet only one way you can run towards something. Motivating a person by triggering avoidance is not necessarily a helpful approach.
For those who are driven by attraction, seek their passions and lay opportunity in their path. They will swoop towards what you are offering.
For those driven by avoidance, point out the problems of the past and the dangers of the present. Show them a future where they can at least avoid the worst of the problems they face.
Think of intuition as an unconscious associative process. Long dismissed as magical or beneath the dignity of science, intuition turns out to muster some fancy and fast mental operations. The best explanation psychologists now offer is that intuition is a mental matching game. The brain takes in a situation, does a very quick search of its files, and then finds its best analogue among the stored sprawl of memories and knowledge. Based on that analogy, you ascribe meaning to the situation in front of you.
Racing thoughts may be replays of past events which generated anxiety or sadness for you. They may also be worries about things that could happen in the future. They are strings of thoughts that are blown out of proportion, have a pattern, consume time, and often have no rational conclusion.
When thoughts like these flood your mind, they drain your energy, stop you from living in the present moment, and can create a loop in your brain that feels difficult to escape. They can also make it harder to concentrate and accomplish daily tasks, and impair yourmemory and sleep.
Having racing thoughts is often disturbing and frightening because it creates a sense of being out of control. But having racing thoughts does not mean you’re out of control or crazy. It does mean that you are anxious and that your stress level is higher than usual.
Our mind usually worries about things it is convinced are true but, most of the time, are actually not true. You can balance your mind’s tendency to predict the worst outcome by coming up with positive alternative scenarios.
Returning your focus to the present will help you accept and let go of what you cannot control. It will also help you realize that you can’t change the past, and that the future hasn’t happened yet, so it’s a waste of time to keep thinking about them.
Focus on here and now…
A young man who was trying to find an answer to his questions was searching for people who could answer them. He met lots of them, but neither of them could answer him. One day, he met a Muslim scientist and asked him these questions:
1. Is there God. And if there is, show me his outlines.
2. What is destiny?
3. Why is it, that Devil is made from fire and he is placed in hell where everything is made from fire, he won’t feel pain. Surely, Allah didn’t think it through?
Suddenly, the scientist slapped him in the face. The young man, not understanding, asked:
– Why did you get mad at me?
– I didn’t get mad; it was the answer to your question!
– How is it?
– What did you feel when I hit you in the face?
– Of course I felt pain!
– That means you believe that pain exists?
– Then show me its outline?
– I can’t!
– It’s the answer to the next part of your first question. Tell me now, did you see yesterday in your dream that I would slap you in the face?
– Did you ever think that you will be slapped by me today?
– That’s destiny. What is covering my hand that hit you in the face?
– And your face?
– Did you feel pain?
– Yes, very much!
– It’s the answer to your third question.
Loved to read this short dialogue and shared..enjoy..
Way more important than guys believed possible is the significance of a man’s eyes to women.
We use them to see the beauty in everything. Shakespeare even said they are the windows to our souls.They are the first things we look at on another person. They can tell us when someone is lying or telling the truth, and they can even tell us when someone is in love.,or trying to avoid you. And apparently, our peepers can tell us a lot more about ourselves and others than we once thought. Eyes can give us clues about how strong a person is and what someone’s personality may be like before even speaking to him.
You can learn a lot about a man by looking at his eyes. Are they alive or flat? Cold or warm? Do they convey expression? Amusement? Are there crow’s feet at the edges that are the mark of a man who smiles and laughs? What do his eyes say about his intent?Looking back, every guy you ever met with told you everything you needed to know with his eyes, without saying a word.