This exercise will be to spend one or two weeks observing everything you are doing, trying to do as little as possible that is purely self serving and do as much as possible in serving other people for the sake of serving. Although you may prefer to serve animals instead of humans, it is important to make this exercise a service to humans. Do things not because you will get credit, not because people will think what a wonderful person you are, but do things anonymously. If you serve at the soup kitchen for the homeless as an example, do not give out your full name, do not say anything about yourself so that no one can give you credit. Do not tell anyone, friends, family, what you have done so that you cannot attain any credit whatsoever for your acts. You will observe how much your ego wants to do good things only if you can get credit for them, which would be self serving. This is the EXERCISE of attaining liberation through being of selfless service to others. Giving to gain credit or acknowledgment is not pure, true giving and will not bring the highest benefits.
ALL THE BEST
Getting past the pain of betrayal can be difficult and forgiveness can seem impossible. I’ve seen friends in this situation – locked in an endless well of bitterness, hurt and blame that’s left them untrusting, depressed and lonely. Some remained single for years after a breakup, unhappy and convinced that there were “no good people” out there. Long after the #divorce, the betrayal kept affecting them and their choices, over and over again.
This is why forgiveness is so important when you’ve been betrayed. Forgiveness is not about them as much as it is about you and creating a better, emotionally healthier future for yourself. After infidelity, you are the one that lives with the rage, jealousy and feelings of victimhood, not the cheater.
art …Marc Fishman – Tristan and Isolde
The fantasy that if we are with the perfect person, our relationship will be easy, and that everything in our lives will fall into place is actually damaging to our chances of sticking out a long-term partnership. If we expect to feel known and understood, attractive and attracted, to never be lonely, to never look at anyone else, to never have doubts, and for our partners to magically make our lives emotionally full and logistically easy, we are in for a rude awakening. Personally, I’d rather be a partner to someone with slightly lower expectations than that. I believe that in relationships, we are doomed to fail each other in some ways no matter what. That is the nature of human relationships, because it is the nature of human beings. We are imperfect. But if we expect a flawed partner and flawed partnership, it’s a lot easier to manage the disappointment when those flaws become apparent than if we have been expecting “happily ever after” to be literal.
How you perceive yourself, how you talk about yourself, and how you represent yourself eventually become the reality for you. And if it happens that you’re putting yourself down, belittling your worth, and making light of your talents in the face of others, then you will come across as self-effacing, low in self-esteem, and almost a part of the wallpaper. This isn’t humility, it’s self-denial and an attempt to lessen your presence. On the other hand, if you exaggerate your qualities, talents, and skills, you’ll come across as egotistical and arrogant but oddly enough, this is not about over-estimating your self-worth but about deceiving yourself through insecurity. There is a middle pathway and it is the one in which you recognize and celebrate the fact that you are a valuable person, equal to everyone else, and that your talents and thoughts are unique and worthy. Getting to this belief can be difficult if you have spent years underestimating your worth but it is always possible to change your thoughts and to learn to value yourself.
I hope you will agree as i read in phenomenological psychology that,think of yourself as a conscious entity. From the time you achieve your state of being, you are aware of yourself, but moreover, you have something so special to human beings: choice. You can choose to be this way or that. Even, if you are under duress, threatened, or even facing torture, you as a conscious being can make a choice. You can express your freedom of mind by choosing. Sometimes in my past, I’ve felt as if I wanted to murder certain people, but I didn’t. Why? because I chose not to do that. But, in every minute of my life now passing I know that all that I do is my conscious decision. I am aware of my ability to choose. Then in the face of knowing that I will die, I can choose to do all I desire, though it has no meaning.