Tag: selfregard

Exercise 

This exercise will be to spend one or two weeks observing everything you are doing, trying to do as little as possible that is purely self serving and do as much as possible in serving other people for the sake of serving. Although you may prefer to serve animals instead of humans, it is important to make this exercise a service to humans. Do things not because you will get credit, not because people will think what a wonderful person you are, but do things anonymously. If you serve at the soup kitchen for the homeless as an example, do not give out your full name, do not say anything about yourself so that no one can give you credit. Do not tell anyone, friends, family, what you have done so that you cannot attain any credit whatsoever for your acts. You will observe how much your ego wants to do good things only if you can get credit for them, which would be self serving. This is  the EXERCISE of attaining liberation through being of selfless service to others. Giving to gain credit or acknowledgment is not pure, true giving and will not bring the highest benefits.

Zaira Khan

ALL THE BEST

Forgiveness is so important when you’ve been betrayed. Why? 


Getting past the pain of betrayal can be difficult and forgiveness can seem impossible. I’ve seen friends in this situation – locked in an endless well of bitterness, hurt and blame that’s left them untrusting, depressed and lonely. Some remained single for years after a breakup, unhappy and convinced that there were “no good people” out there. Long after the #divorce, the betrayal kept affecting them and their choices, over and over again.

This is why forgiveness is so important when you’ve been betrayed. Forgiveness is not about them as much as it is about you and creating a better, emotionally healthier future for yourself. After infidelity, you are the one that lives with the rage, jealousy and feelings of victimhood, not the cheater.

Zairakhan

The fantasy 

art …Marc Fishman – Tristan and Isolde

The fantasy that if we are with the perfect person, our relationship will be easy, and that everything in our lives will fall into place is actually damaging to our chances of sticking out a long-term partnership. If we expect to feel known and understood, attractive and attracted, to never be lonely, to never look at anyone else, to never have doubts, and for our partners to magically make our lives emotionally full and logistically easy, we are in for a rude awakening. Personally, I’d rather be a partner to someone with slightly lower expectations than that. I believe that in relationships, we are doomed to fail each other in some ways no matter what. That is the nature of human relationships, because it is the nature of human beings. We are imperfect. But if we expect a flawed partner and flawed partnership, it’s a lot easier to manage the disappointment when those flaws become apparent than if we have been expecting “happily ever after” to be literal.

  zaira khan

Value yourself 


How you perceive yourself, how you talk about yourself, and how you represent yourself eventually become the reality for you. And if it happens that you’re putting yourself down, belittling your worth, and making light of your talents in the face of others, then you will come across as self-effacing, low in self-esteem, and almost a part of the wallpaper. This isn’t humility, it’s self-denial and an attempt to lessen your presence. On the other hand, if you exaggerate your qualities, talents, and skills, you’ll come across as egotistical and arrogant but oddly enough, this is not about over-estimating your self-worth but about deceiving yourself through insecurity. There is a middle pathway and it is the one in which you recognize and celebrate the fact that you are a valuable person, equal to everyone else, and that your talents and thoughts are unique and worthy. Getting to this belief can be difficult if you have spent years underestimating your worth but it is always possible to change your thoughts and to learn to value yourself.

Zairakhan

Conscious entity 



I hope you will agree as i read in phenomenological psychology that,think of yourself as a conscious entity. From the time you achieve your state of being, you are aware of yourself, but moreover, you have something so special to human beings: choice. You can choose to be this way or that. Even, if you are under duress, threatened, or even facing torture, you as a conscious being can make a choice. You can express your freedom of mind by choosing. Sometimes in my past, I’ve felt as if I wanted to murder certain people, but I didn’t. Why? because I chose not to do that. But, in every minute of my life now passing I know that all that I do is my conscious decision. I am aware of my ability to choose. Then in the face of knowing that I will die, I can choose to do all I desire, though it has no meaning.

Zaira Khan 

What is the root of all evil?

rootofevilsandman3
Are we  indeed “evil creatures” and need some governing authority in our lives  to regulate our behavior? If so, what authority? In my experience, there  is an aspect of my intellect that only loves itself. It has been  defined by many wise teachers as the “ego” but their definition is  sometimes confusing.From a spiritual perspective, ego means considering oneself to be  distinct from others and God due to identification with the physical  body and impressions in various centers of the subtle body. In short ego  is leading our life as per the thinking that our existence is limited  to our 5 senses, mind, and intellect and identifying with them to  various degrees.In layman’s terms one can define ego as  pride about oneself. Thoughts such as my body and mind, my intellect, my  life, my wealth, my wife and children, I should acquire happiness, etc.  arise from ego alone.Ego, awareness of the self, pride, conceit and ‘i’ness are words related to the word ‘ego’ but on a psychological plane. For the sake of simplicity, let us call it  “intellect devoid of love”. And let us call egoism the philosophy that  ego is the most important thing. Many of those who lead our institutions  overtly or secretly follow this philosophy and have organized  themselves into a mutually supported global power. Many people  think that they are evil. They are addicted to power, and what is  necessary is to have a global “intervention” where we communicate to  them how they have hurt others and also to be honest with themselves about how they have enabled their disruptions overtime. In other words, we need a revolution.  Because the root of all evil is egoism, or addiction to ego. And the  Supreme Loving Consciousness is the only legitimate governing authority  that should guide our behavior. More and more are recognizing this. Let  us put aside our petty differences and help each other see the egoism  that we have a hard time seeing when we are so focused on the  destructive behaviors of others. Let there be Love Revolution! Let the  forces of Life overthrow the egotist tyrants externally and internally!If we come out of the negativity of ego and try to truly understand what the unique method for dealing egoistic desires then we will be faraway from many evils with their roots.The biggest confusion for people who get into spirituality is with  regards to their “Ego”. It’s common for spiritual people to consider Ego  as negative; but in truth, it’s not Ego that’s negative but thoughts  based in fear that are negative. Ego is Ego; it’s not negative or  positive. What you “think” determines whether you are aligning with  negative or positive. The way I define Ego is that it’s the structure in  your mind that gives a “person” identity; it serves a very practical  purpose for physical interaction of humans.You are unique as an expression of universal consciousness and your  uniqueness is reflected in the preferences or desire that your physical  being comes up with – your brain/mind/heart comes up with the desires  based on its unique natural conditioning/external conditioning (the  structure of personal Ego). Each of your desire has a huge value because  it causes expansion in life and you act as a co-creator of new  realities. So your Ego has a very important part to play in the game of  co-creation. The Ego desires new realities through its preferences and  the universal consciousness brings forth the manifestation of these  realities and keeps them in place.So give up on the negative loop of trying to quell your ego, and  allow yourself the freedom to express your uniqueness through your  desires/preferences. Life is not here to condemn you for your desires,  it’s here to embrace all of it and bring it to manifestation. You are  totally loved by life just the way you are, it has no conditions for  you, it’s is totally appreciative of the value you provide through your  uniqueness – it’s important that you realize how valuable your presence  here is.

Zaira Khan