Tag: selfworth

Exercise 

This exercise will be to spend one or two weeks observing everything you are doing, trying to do as little as possible that is purely self serving and do as much as possible in serving other people for the sake of serving. Although you may prefer to serve animals instead of humans, it is important to make this exercise a service to humans. Do things not because you will get credit, not because people will think what a wonderful person you are, but do things anonymously. If you serve at the soup kitchen for the homeless as an example, do not give out your full name, do not say anything about yourself so that no one can give you credit. Do not tell anyone, friends, family, what you have done so that you cannot attain any credit whatsoever for your acts. You will observe how much your ego wants to do good things only if you can get credit for them, which would be self serving. This is  the EXERCISE of attaining liberation through being of selfless service to others. Giving to gain credit or acknowledgment is not pure, true giving and will not bring the highest benefits.

Zaira Khan

ALL THE BEST

Forgiveness is so important when you’ve been betrayed. Why? 


Getting past the pain of betrayal can be difficult and forgiveness can seem impossible. I’ve seen friends in this situation – locked in an endless well of bitterness, hurt and blame that’s left them untrusting, depressed and lonely. Some remained single for years after a breakup, unhappy and convinced that there were “no good people” out there. Long after the #divorce, the betrayal kept affecting them and their choices, over and over again.

This is why forgiveness is so important when you’ve been betrayed. Forgiveness is not about them as much as it is about you and creating a better, emotionally healthier future for yourself. After infidelity, you are the one that lives with the rage, jealousy and feelings of victimhood, not the cheater.

Zairakhan

Self satisfaction 

Life is for once, and this era has shown us so much to do and enjoy. But psychologically we all yearn for those things in life which gives tranquility, calmness, terrific feeling of achievement and most of all self satisfaction.

Self satisfaction for one person is defined different from as defined by other. Let’s take things more technically that for some people singing is self satisfaction and for other working in the charity center. So there are no set rules to follow the rules for high self-esteem and great self satisfaction.

As a psychologist I believe that we all are individuals with our individualistic needs.

For me doing my job as a psychologist is the best example for me as myself. Nothing in the world gives a satisfying heart as to be with the ones who need me. Some schizophrenic patients, some bipolar depression ‘s victims, some with emotional, marital, addiction, personality, genius, normal but stressed out etc issues. The list will go on and on but doing good for others is not only the profession it’s the truth present for self satisfaction.

According to Rogers, we should try not to conform to the expectations of others. We should rather come to terms with our own nature, trust one’s own experience, and accept the fact that other people are different. In this way, the gap between the real self and the ideal self will become lesser and a state of congruence will come into place. Once this happens, in terms of Rogers, the person is said to have become oneself. The becoming of one’s self makes the person what Rogers calls a fully functioning person. The fully functioning person, according to Rogers, acknowledges and expresses all his/her feelings, has no rigidity and preconceptions about what he/she should be, make and rely on their own decisions, acknowledges the feeling of freedom and takes responsibility of his/her decisions, and contributes to life. Becoming oneself and being a fully functioning person brings the person closer and closer to self-satisfaction.

A high level of self-awareness is required for self-satisfaction. An individual should have a realization of his/her strengths and weaknesses. This will make the person know about how good or bad he/she is at various things. This will also make the person more focused and will enable him/her to know exactly what he/she wants from life. When a person knows exactly what he/she wants to do, it generates an immense amount of positive feeling within that person and leads to a lot of self-worth.

This high level of self-awareness is very much similar to what Howard Gardner calls intrapersonal intelligence. People who are high on intrapersonal intelligence have a good capacity of being introspective and self-reflective. They are intuitive and skillful in recognizing their own feelings and motivations. It includes having a deep level of understanding, knowing ones strengths and weaknesses, realization of what makes one unique, and having the ability to predict one’s own reactions and emotions.

The only way to maintain a proper composure in life is to seek and eventually achieve self-satisfaction. It is the seeking of self-satisfaction that guides the person through all the turbulence of life. Achieving self-satisfaction should be the main criteria in whatever the person wants to do.

Zaira Khan 

.

Value yourself 


How you perceive yourself, how you talk about yourself, and how you represent yourself eventually become the reality for you. And if it happens that you’re putting yourself down, belittling your worth, and making light of your talents in the face of others, then you will come across as self-effacing, low in self-esteem, and almost a part of the wallpaper. This isn’t humility, it’s self-denial and an attempt to lessen your presence. On the other hand, if you exaggerate your qualities, talents, and skills, you’ll come across as egotistical and arrogant but oddly enough, this is not about over-estimating your self-worth but about deceiving yourself through insecurity. There is a middle pathway and it is the one in which you recognize and celebrate the fact that you are a valuable person, equal to everyone else, and that your talents and thoughts are unique and worthy. Getting to this belief can be difficult if you have spent years underestimating your worth but it is always possible to change your thoughts and to learn to value yourself.

Zairakhan

Bottle it up.. 


There is a very common myth about psychology in which people believe they will alleviate their anger by “letting it out”. This is such a popular concept that many therapies have grown up around it – things like punchbags, squeeze balls, etc. In fact, the opposite is found to be true. When a person expresses their anger regularly, it becomes habit forming. While there may appear to be a temporary relief from the anger when you smash a plate against the wall, ultimately your fits of anger will become an addiction and you will begin to seek out more reasons to become angry – in order to achieve that nice feeling. So ultimate, the best thing to do: bottle it up!

Zaira Khan 

Battling 

Life isn’t always fair… life is a beautiful chance given to human  beings to make the best of it, to LEARN and to provide others the best  of us.What can be unfair is the attitude and actions of human beings, but we learn from that. If we get hurt by something or someone, there is  always a lesson to get from it: To be stronger, to realize of the good  and bad, to take care of ourselves. The power is always within you , you  have all the strength and the capability to face any difficulty you may  be experiencing, with braveness and positivity, looking forward! You  were born to be happy :), you have unique talents, values, to provide  happiness to others.Loosing hopes is not the solution to difficulties  (no matter how desperate the situation might seem); it is a “coward”  response and a very selfish one, as it could cause so much pain to the  people who love you. Be positive, look forward. Whether it’s  self-preservation, basic human decency, or a combination of both, we  want to change that.

In some cases, we can. We are not powerless, and we don’t have to simply accept every injustice as an unavoidable part of life.
We do, however, need to accept that our response to perceived wrongs affects our ability to right them.
No one has a perfect life. Everyone is battling some kind of hardship.
It’s  also downright disturbing when people who really do have good lives,  overlook all the positives they do have going for them because they are  so focused on what they haven’t got, or what others have, that they  don’t. 
You can’t create positive change from a negative  mindset.  You have to heal your pain before you can set out to heal the  world. Andyou have to stop seeing yourself as a victim if you want to  access your personal power.
Studies have shown that the reward  centers of our brains activate when we recognize fairness—even when it  pertains to someone else. When we witness unfairness, it triggers our  amygdala, the primitive part of the brain that controls fear and anger.
You  also have to come to terms with the reality that even if you do what  you’re supposed to/ need to do, it still doesn’t always follow that  you’re gonna get what you want. Life doesn’t always work that way…it’s  not a meritocracy. People let their disappointment in how things turn  out get the better of them, often, instead of accepting it as something  that just happens, sometimes, despite best intentions. Accepting failure  and disappointment healthily is one of the hardest lessons to learn. I  still struggle with it, and hopefully will get better and better about  it as life goes on. 
This means that when we feel like we’ve been  treated unfairly, we go into “fight or flight” mode, with its resulting  sense of anxiety.
Psychologists suggest that when we fight for  fairness for others, it’s actually self-interest in disguise; meaning  we’ve recognized it provides us with some type of advantage to be fair.
No  matter how you slice it, we experience a strong, instant physical and  biological reaction to perceived injustices, and this can limit our  ability to think rationally and respond proactively. 
A little bit of unjustice in this life and enduring it can only make you  stronger; there’s always an island of love, happiness and joy ahead  even if you’ve got to swim a whole ocean of bitterness and injustice in  order to get there!
 “Life will always be unfair”; and that’s how this life will be if all  you do is keep swimming in circles in the ocean of mainstream human  mentality; it’s up to you to seek in your life those‘islands of  tranquility’ which fill your emotion with confidence and strength; and  those islands are often in the truthful companionship of good friends and loved ones.  Growing older will lead you there, just be careful and don’t give up!
Make a clean corner in your thoughts so that hope finds a place in your heart and let instead bitterness move out.
Once  we mature as individuals it’s up to us to make life better, for our own  and for the future generations as well! Don’t give up!

Zaira Khan 

Look for 

​Be very wary of listening too much to people who regret the choices that they made in life and are willing to inflict their distress or anger at this regret upon others (especially upon the next generation). Such people won’t enlighten you as to the path of acting on your self-worth but will try to either live out what they didn’t get through you or even expect you to have the same rotten experiences they had by giving poor information, incorrect details, or simply omitting to inform you at all. People with healthy self-worth will share their insights and learning with you, and will be willing to guide you around life’s many traps. Look for those people to mentor you rather than being misguided by the unhappy people.

Zaira Khan