Tag: understandable

Self love or selfishness 

Sometimes when people hear the word “self-love” they associate it with the word “selfish,” but I’m here today to tell you that self-love is not selfish. Self-love is empowering and inspiring. It’s something we should all do every single day. Loving yourself doesn’t — and shouldn’t — take away from loving others, as being selfish does. Self-love allows you to embrace who you are and, as a result, be come better at loving not only yourself but others.

While self-love can be defined as an excess in self-pride, I prefer to think of it in terms of a feeling of self-respect and self-worth. I believe the more you respect yourself, the more you respect the world around you and the more likely you’ll be to live a positive life, therefore projecting positivity into the world. Of course, there will always be those that argue that self-love is narcissistic and that loving oneself too much is just plain selfish. 

Having respect for yourself leads you to have respect for others. Ever wonder why some people are so mean and judgmental? More often than not it’s because they don’t love themselves and are taking out the way they feel about themselves on others. If you want to live selflessly, loving yourself first is a great place to start because the more you learn to respect and love yourself, the more you will love and respect others, which, ultimately, makes the world a much better place.

Celebrating positive things about you supports a positive attitude about others. The more you value yourself and celebrate the good things about yourself, the more you will want to celebrate the goodness in others. When you are constantly looking down on yourself or focusing on the negative, it can be really difficult to find the positive in the world and in those around you. If you bring yourself up, you’ll be much happier — and more likely to bring others up as well.

Taking care of your happiness first leaves your heart open to caring for others. Putting yourself first might seem like the absolute wrong way to care about other people, but it’s the best step you can take to making sure those around you are at their happiest. Once your happiness is taken care of and you really learn to love yourself, you free up your emotional time and energy to love others and focus on them. Dwelling on self-doubt and self-hate significantly takes away from others so loving yourself is essential if you want to have the energy to care for other people in your life.

Believing in your own abilities allows you to pursue passions that can inspire others. Once you truly start believing in yourself and focusing on your positive qualities, you’ll be able to pursue your passions and spend time doing what you love. When you allow yourself to be who you are and follow your heart, you will be able to share your passion with the world. The more you believe in yourself, the more you will open up and share with others — and what you share just might be the very inspiration someone else needs.  

 Loving yourself makes you a happier, kinder, more positive person. The basic truth is this: if you love yourself, you be happier. When you are happier, you will be nicer and kinder and more open to others. You’ll be more loving and more willing to trust, enjoy, and celebrate other people. You’ll look for the good in yourself and in others and, as a result, you’ll have a better relationship with yourself and with the ones you love.
 
Though some might disagree, I firmly believe that loving yourself is an unselfish act because it leads to a more positive life for you — and the more positive your life is, the more positive you’ll be about the things and people around you. It’s easy to find excuses when it comes to doing something good for yourself. You can think of plenty of reasons why you should be doing something for someone else instead. But don’t let that little nagging voice in your head tell you that self-love isn’t worth it or its unobtainable. It’s possible for every single person to love him/herself, but it’s up to the individual to make it happen. If you aren’t already loving yourself and you have any doubts in your mind as to whether or not loving yourself is selfish, I hope this article has helped you realize that self-love is, in fact, an unselfish act.

Zaira Khan 

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Psychological space 

For psychologists, distance is not just physical space. It is also psychological space, the degree to which you feel closely connected to someone else. You are describing psychological distance when you say that you feel “distant” from your spouse, “out of touch” with your kids’ lives, “worlds apart” from a neighbor’s politics, or “separated” from your employees. You don’t mean that you are physically distant from other people; you mean that you feel psychologically distant from them in some way. You’ve developed different beliefs than your spouse over time and have “grown apart,” your kids’ generation is so different from your own, or you work in a large corporation with more employees than you can name. These two features of social life—the magnitude of the gap between your own mind and others’ minds, and the motivation to reduce that gap—are critical for understanding when you engage your ability to think about other minds fully and when you do not.

Distance keeps your sixth sense disengaged for at least two reasons. First, your ability to understand the minds of others can be triggered by your physical senses. When you’re too far away in physical space, those triggers do not get pulled. Second, your ability to understand the minds of others is also engaged by your cognitive inferences. Too far away in psychological space—too different, too foreign, too other—and those triggers, again, do not get pulled. Understanding how these two triggers—your physical senses and your cognitive inferences—engage you with the mind of another person is essential for understanding the dehumanizing mistakes we can make when we remain disengaged.